SPEARE'S TIPS (SPECIAL EDITION) - My Ten Most Anticipated Films of Summer 2009

Regardless of age, one always feels a bit like a kid in a candy store when summer approaches, doesn’t one? While it’s true, I’m not a teenager anymore (in fact, I’m going to be turning the big 4-0 in August), it seems that every year that I age corresponds with a quantum leap in moviemaking technology, especially designed to keep the kid in me rapt with attention.

Summer 2009 seems to be no exception. With a cornucopia of potential blockbusters every week for about 16 straight weeks (sometimes, more than one per week), there will be plenty to sate my appetite. Some will wow me, others will severely disappointment. Only time will tell. But for now, which ten films am I MOST looking forward to?

Before I run down the list, here is a list of films that I plan to see, either in theaters or on DVD, that don’t quite make the list: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Battle For Terra, The Skeptic, Next Day Air, Pontypool, Drag Me to Hell, The Maiden Heist, Imagine That, Food Inc., Year One, Public Enemies, G-Force, The Ugly Truth, Oprhan, Funny People, G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, Julie & Julia, Shorts, District 9, Inglorious Basterds, H2.

And now, my Ten Most Anticipated Films of Summer (May-Aug) 2009:

10. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (5/22) – I really enjoyed the first Museum a couple of years ago, but honestly, the trailer for this film looks stupid as all get-out. Yes, most of the original cast, including Ben Stiller, Robin Williams, Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan are back, but I really hope that this film isn’t just going to be reheating week-old leftovers. And the Lincoln scene REALLY turned me off.

9. Angels and Demons (5/15) – I also enjoyed The Da Vinci Code, Tom Hanks’ awful haircut notwithstanding. Yes, this is actually a prequel, and it will be interesting watching Ewen McGregor play the bad guy again (at least, I THINK he’s the bad guy). I’m just hoping this doesn’t turn out to be all sizzle and no sausage like Indiana Jones of the Third Kind was.

8. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (7/1) – This is Sony Pictures’ Animation’s biggest hit by a country mile, and there’s no doubt that the series still has plenty of potential, but how many times can we watch Skrat NOT get that damn acorn and find it funny? No matter how good this one is, I find myself hoping that this studio comes up with something new and not keep going to the same well, a lesson the DreamWorks STILL hasn’t learned with Shrek.

7. The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 (6/12) – The last time Tony Scott teamed up with Denzel Washington, it was for Déjà Vu, a film that few seemed to like except for me. A remake of the Walter Matthau/Robert Shaw early 70’s film (which I’ve seen, and liked), this looks like a fairly cool ride with Washington squaring off against John Travolta. I wonder if they’ll work in the “Gesundheit!” joke in there somewhere…

6. Terminator: Salvation (5/22) – After struggling through the last two seasons of The Sarah Connor Chronicles on TV, I think I’m about all Terminator-ed out. Having Batman starring as John Connor is a plus, but I’m not convinced McG has the chops to pull this off. It had better freakin’ be better than the disastrous Rise of the Machines, I can tell you that.

5. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (7/17) – Mom, are we there yet? This is part Six of a seven-part, eight-movie story that’s started back near the turn of the millennium. Yeah, it’s been special watching all the kids grown into young adults, and every single chapter has advanced the story forward in a most spectacular way, but I’m betting filmgoers are, at this point, just waiting for the spectacular climax so it can be, once and for all, OVER. But that’s another two years away, apparently….

4. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (5/1) – You can’t have a full-blown Marvel movie in the summer lineup and NOT be excited about it. Coming off the success of Iron Man and Incredible Hulk last summer, Wolverine delves deep into the past of the X-Men’s most fascinating, feral and mercurial character, with Hugh Jackman reprising the role that pretty much made him a household name. I don’t know if it has the mustard to make it to $300 million, but then, I didn’t think Iron Man did either. Doesn’t make me want to see it any less, regardless.

3. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (6/26) – Let me be clear about this: I very much LIKED the first Transformers film two years ago, but I didn’t LOVE it. It was based on a cartoon/toy franchise that I never got into as a kid, it had a lot of very corny scenes, and, of course, it was directed by Michael Bay, a director famous for his egregiously high style-to-substance ratio. The trailer for this film, however, completely blew me away, and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this film will be the biggest money earner of 2009.

2. Up (5/29) – The Incredibles was my favorite film of 2004. Cars was my #2 film of 2006. Ratatouille was my favorite film of 2007. And Wall-E tied for #1 as my favorite film of 2008. Sensing a pattern? Obviously, I’m excited to see Pixar’s latest film. I will admit, I’m not as excited by the trailer for this film, about an elderly man and his preteen sidekick floating around looking for adventure, as I have been about previous offerings, but at this point, I’m willing to give this studio the benefit of a few hundred doubts.

1. Star Trek (5/8 ) – Once a Trekkie, always a Trekkie, I guess. Having been a die hard fan of the series since I was in grade school, which includes having seen all of the TV shows, read many of the books, novels, comic books, graphic novels, behind-the-scenes books, blooper videos, etc. I am thinking that if any film can break the “second week of May” curse, it’s this one. J.J. Abrams has taken a monumental risk with this project, and the most recent trailer has been spectacular. The cast is near-letter-perfect for their roles (whoever the f—k Chris Pine is), and I have a feeling this will be one of those films with no middle ground. It’ll either be universally acclaimed, or tagged as one of the worst pieces of trash ever put to film. I remain every hopeful, and I’ll be there on opening day, that’s for damn sure.


And just for dessert, here are five films I will take great pains to avoid at all costs:

5. Bruno – Sorry, but Sacha Baron Cohen just offends me. It’s not that I don’t appreciate that vulgar humor can’t be funny, I just don’t LIKE him. At all.

4. Dance Flick – I have had it up to HERE with spoof movies. I don’t care that it’s the Wayans Bros. and not the turd-tastic Friedberg and Seltzer. This one is already D.O.A. to me.

3. The Proposal – Between this and the postponed All About Steve, I have to wonder if we’re looking at Sandra Bullock’s ignominious swan song.

2. The Hangover – If Mike Tyson is your comic relief, there’s something REALLY wrong here.

1. Land of the Lost – I never really cared for Will Ferrell, and now I don’t care twice as much as I never cared before. God, Zohan was Pulitzer Prize material compared to what this looks like.

So that’s it. I hope this list will thrill me more than my Ten Most Anticipated Films of Jan-Apr did. I’ll let you know in four months, when I preview my Top Ten list for Sep-Dec.

Later!

Shryke, what is your beef with Will Ferrell?

And I'm not feeling "Up" at all...the trailor looks awful.

I just find him annoying as hell. Nothing more, nothing less. Almost none of his characters ever expand beyond one dimension. Loud, obnoxious, rude, arrogant. Some people find that funny, but I don't. At least some of Sandler's characters have had a little more depth.

Stranger Than Fiction remains my favorite Ferrell movie, because it's the only film in which he wasn't in his comfort zone.

Fair enough...

brockman81 wrote:Shryke, what is your beef with Will Ferrell?

And I'm not feeling "Up" at all...the trailor looks awful.

True... I also think that the trailer looks doesn't look great, I wouldn't exactly say awful, but I am not going to bet against Pixar till I see them fail.

Shrykespeare wrote:I just find him annoying as hell. Nothing more, nothing less. Almost none of his characters ever expand beyond one dimension. Loud, obnoxious, rude, arrogant. Some people find that funny, but I don't. At least some of Sandler's characters have had a little more depth.

Totally agree!

I'll probably see all those film on your list. A movie a week, keeps the doctor away. Well, I'll see all of them except for Terminator and Star Trek.

Yeah Im not excited for Star Trek either. ill proably see it on DVD. also agree with brockman about Up i think it looks awful Pixar might have lost it. I love Will Ferell and i plan to see Land Of The Lost. The trailer doesnt look like anything great but i will be there because of Ferell and the always hillarious Danny Mcbride. And one last note Sacha Baron Cohen is Hillarious I hope Bruno is as good as Borat.

Completely agree about Night at the Museum 2.

And Ice Age is Blue Sky Studios, not Sony Pictures, so its not their biggest film by that much.

I thought Borat was pretty funny...it was a little hard to watch at some spots, but the trailer for Bruno looks hilarious. It will be interesting to see how it turns out.

Shrykee,

I'm in for about half of your list. To me, Night at the Museum and Ice Age will either be renters or HBO. Never got into the whole Harry Potter thing. Angels and Demons and Pelham might have to wait until the reviews are in. DaVinci Code was alright, and I loved the original Pelham too much as a youngster to see a bad remake (I'm not saying it will be, but if the reviews or word of mouth tell me that it is, I'll avoid it like the plague).

Count me in for Transformers, Star Trek, Wolverine, Public Enemies, Year One, Funny People, and UP

Now, I can't speak for Mr. Average Joe The Filmgoer, but I know any die-hard Potter fan feels the exact opposite about the series. I never want the HP movies to end, I was happy as hell when they announced they were splitting DH into 2 movies. As it is, it would've been either a 4 hour movie or a massive disappointment due to all the stuff they'd have to cut out.

And no Hangover? I think you're the first person who's (presumably) seen the trailer and DIDN'T want to see it. You continue to amaze me, Shryke.

Your Top 10 is basically mine, except I will avoid Ice Age 3 and Angels & Demons at all costs. I'd replace them with The Hangover () and either Public Enemies or FD4.

I also think The Hangover looks bad considering that the same movie was done as Very Bad Things and it seems low-rent considering that the same guy did Old School and Starsky and Hutch.

Also if your movie has Heather Graham and it came out in this decade, then it's most likely going to suck (see Miss Conception).

BanksIsDaFuture wrote: You continue to amaze me, Shryke.

Hope that's a good thing...

Since when is saying its from the guy who did Old School a bad thing? It looks hilarious. Might just be this year's Hot Rod.

I didn't. I said that the film looks low-rent compared to Old School. Old School was high-concept (Animal House with a Fight Club mentality*) and had a big cast. The Hangover is basically a rehash with no major stars and a less interesting concept.


*-Yes, the original idea for Old School was "Fight Club as a comedy". Some references to this idea remain in the finished project.

Yeah, the Hangover looks like the second coming of Dude, Where's My Car? Which was awesome!

Buscemi wrote:I also think The Hangover looks bad considering that the same movie was done as Very Bad Things and it seems low-rent considering that the same guy did Old School and Starsky and Hutch.

Also if your movie has Heather Graham and it came out in this decade, then it's most likely going to suck (see Miss Conception).

Well, seeing as how 90% of all movies are basically rehashes or ideas already done, that doesn't faze me in the slightest. And Old School and parts of Starsky & Hutch were hilarious, so I'm down for most things Todd Philips does.

And Bradley Cooper proved that he can be funny in Yes Man, Andy from The Office is amazing, and the other guy (Zach Galiniakiosism), well I don't know him but he seems to have some comedic chops in the trailer.

And Heather Graham was in Anger Management, so I guess that's....uhh...well maybe you're right about her.

Come on, how could you not laugh when they hit hit the baby with the car door? Infant violence is the bestest!

Heather Graham was in Swingers..........Nuff Said!!!!

BanksIsDaFuture wrote: and the other guy (Zach Galiniakiosism), well I don't know him but he seems to have some comedic chops in the trailer.

Come on, how could you not laugh when they hit hit the baby with the car door? Infant violence is the bestest!

Zach is a stand up comedian and has had a few shows on cable from time to time. He is fairly funny.

And I MUST laugh at infant violence. I laughed my ass of at the trailer for this movie.

Zach is way more than fairly funny in my opinion. His Comedy Central Presents is one of the best ever.

"I look like fat Jesus"

"Not Phat Jesus"

yeah, Galifinakis is hilarious--but that doesn't always translate to his screen roles


also, on a tangent, here's some insight on 17 Again:

http://www.cracked.com/video_17269_can-zac-efron-make-worst-body-switching-comedy-ever.html

I have actually never seen any of his shows. I am just aware of them. I haven't seen anything of his since years ago. He was on MTV or something back then.

Galfankis is very funny. I have high hopes for The Hangover because of the cast,the great trailer and Todd Phillips.