WAS IT WORTH IT? Shrykespeare grades the films of March

If you remember, March was supposed to be a whiz-bang month… after all, it started off with Zack Snyder’s latest graphic-novel-coopted hype monster. But while this particular month had the usual array of hits and misses, there were barely any that were on both of the extreme ends of the spectrum. Most of the films produced at least respectable numbers in at least one category, so there’s that at least.

So, my grades for the movies of March, from worst to first:


Miss March
Cost: $3 U, $4 BO
Stats: $4.5M, 0 PTA, 0 Top 5, 4.7 UR
It takes some serious effort for a film this cheap to be the month’s worst pick. But those numbers speak for themselves.
Grade: D

12 Rounds
Cost: $5 U, $5 BO
Stats: $11.8M, 0 PTA, 0 Top 5, 5.1 UR
John Cena ain’t Bruce Willis. ‘Nuff said.
Grade: D+

12
Cost: $8 U
Stats: $106K, 0 PTA, 7.9 UR
A Russian remake of 12 Angry Men… interesting idea, but it ended up being stale mashed potatoes on our roster.
Grade: C-

Watchmen
Cost: $38 U, $38 BO
Stats: $107.2M, 5 PTA, 10 Top 5, 8.0 UR
If this film were priced, say, $5-$10 less, it would have been so worth it. As it is, it was an underperformer. Much like the movie itself.
Grade: C

Duplicity
Cost: $14 U, $13 BO
Stats: $40.2M, 0 PTA, 4 Top 5, 6.7 UR
The genre of adult-centered (non-Oscar season) drams may not be dead, but it’s not exactly flourishing, either.
Grade: C

Race to Witch Mountain
Cost: $19 U, $19 BO
Stats: $64.6M, 4 PTA, 7 Top 5, 6.3 UR
Disney. Dwayne Johnson. Aliens. Why didn’t this do better?
Grade: C+

I Love You Man
Cost: $16 U, $16 BO
Stats: $69.3M, 0 PTA, 7 Top 5, 7.9 UR
A few PTA would have made this one an all-around winner. Still not a bad pick, though.
Grade: B

The Last House on the Left
Cost: $6 U, $6 BO
Stats: $32.6M, 2 PTA, 3 Top 5, 7.0
You really couldn’t have asked for much more than this film produced.
Grade: B+

Tokyo!
Cost: $6 U,
Stats: $312K, 5 PTA, 7.3 UR
Not many of us gave this one a look. Kudos to those few who did.
Grade: B+

Sunshine Cleaning
Cost: $13 U, $3 BO
Stats: $10.4M, 11 PTA, 0 Top 5, 7.5 UR
Few limited-release picks this expensive end up being worth it, but this one definitely did.
Grade: A-

Monsters vs. Aliens
Cost: $33 U, $34 BO
Stats: $182.4M, 8 PTA, 13 Top 5, 7.0 UR
The biggest money maker of the month by a country mile, it did what Watchmen and Witch Mountain were SUPPOSED to do, but didn’t.
Grade: A

Knowing
Cost: $9 U, $11 BO
Stats: $76.8M, 2 PTA, 11 Top 5, 6.7 UR
Who knew Nic Cage had it in him?
Grade: A

The Haunting in Connecticut
Cost: $4 U, $4 BO
Stats: $55.0M, 3 PTA, 7 Top 5, 5.8 UR
Wow. This late addition to the roster, a blatant ripoff of Amityville Horror, gives us the best ROI numbers of any film this month. Who’da thunk it?
Grade: A+


And, the best pick of March:

Sin Nombre
Cost: $3 U
Stats: $1.8M, 11 PTA, 7.2 UR
Ay caramba! This one just came right out of nowhere, didn’t it? 11 PTA for $3?? That’s a wicked bargain!
Grade: A++

I'm still trying to figure out how THiC did so well. Just add it to the list of 2009 box office mysteries...

I think Knowing was a better pick though. (And a better movie, of course.)

Haunting and Knowing. 2009 has been a rollercoaster ride.

I called them... hehe.

2009 has been very unperdictable surprise. If you had told me in January that The Haunting in Connecticut and Knowing would be hits i would thought you where out of your god damn mind.

Maybe, but I could see weeks before that they would do well. They just had great marketing campaigns and I saw Haunting in Connecticut and it wasn't a bad film IMO. If my wife drags me to a horror film and I don't think it was a complete waste of life, then it was pretty good. She won't have to drag me to Drag Me to Hell, though.

The ones that surprised me were Paul Blart, Taken, and Gran Torino. I probably would have gotten Blart though if my computer wasn't malfunctioning at the time.