SPEARE'S TIPS: THE FILMS OF 8/21 - Inglourious Basterds, Shorts, Post Grad, et al.

So now I’m 40. Sigh. I don’t feel any different. I don’t feel middle-aged any more than I felt like a grown-up once I hit 18, like a mature guy when I hit 30, or like an idiot when I hit that parked car last week. (He swerved right in front of me, dammit!) Seriously, though, thanks for all of your awesome well-wishes on the boards, I really really do appreciate them. You guys are the wind beneath my… no, that’s way too sappy… you’re the… um, um… no, wait, it’ll come to me… aw, hell, I’m getting tired try to come up with a good metaphor. I’m going to go take a nap. (Grin.)

There’s a lot of films to talk about today, all of which are coming out this Friday, on August 21 (well, there’s one that actually comes out TODAY, if you can believe it, but other than that…). But before I start delving, let’s go back to April 6, 2007. That was the day that saw the release of Grindhouse, which was the collaborative attempt by directors Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez to revivify the genre of old drive-in-style B-movies. The first segment, Planet Terror, was Rodriguez’s go at a classic zombie yarn, while the second half, Death Proof, was QT’s attempt to relive the classic “maniac car-driver” shtick. The film pretty much failed to find an audience in theaters, though they did find some life on DVD.

How ironic is it that for both directors, their very next projects, which probably couldn’t be farther apart on the cinematic spectrum in terms of target audience, are released on the very same weekend? Yes, it’s true. These best friends and frequent collaborators are now going tete-a-tete. I’ll get to Rodriguez’s outing in a sec, but first, I’ll talk about Inglourious Basterds, Tarantino’s attempt to bring back yet ANOTHER lost genre – the spaghetti-western-style war film.

If you’ve seen any of QT’s work, you’ll know that his signature is taking multiple plot lines and having them converge in often deadly and humorous ways, and he rarely bothers telling his stories chronologically. I don’t know if that will be the case in Basterds, but we’ll see. In one half of this film, we follow a group of Jewish-American soldiers, led by Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt), who are formed for one reason: to kill Nazis, as brutally as possible. In the other half, there’s a girl named Shosonna (Melanie Laurent), who seeks to avenge her parents’ deaths by sabotaging the premiere of Joseph Goebbels’ latest propaganda movie.

It will be violent. Oh, yes, it will be violent. There will be no shortage of the gooey red stuff splattered on the walls, I can guarantee you that. But even with QT’s mishaps, there is always a fair amount of panache and verve that goes into the film, and even though some of what he puts on the screen may disgust you, you somehow find yourself mildly (or raucously) amused by the attempt.

There are a lot of reasons to take this film. It currently has a rating of 8.2 on IMDb with 3,000 votes, which means it isn’t likely to dip all that much. It has a “75% Fresh” rating at RT, and it might even be worth noting that this was the ONLY American film that won an award at the Cannes Film Festival this year, and believe it or not, it was for acting – Christopher Waltz, who plays the evil “Jew Hunter”.

All that aside, this is not a cheap pick. It will run you $21 in Ultimate leagues, $19 in Box Office, which makes it the third-most expensive pick of the season (after G.I. Joe and Shutter Island). And even though QT may be cutting-edge, and a cult favorite, the R rating that accompanies pretty much always detracts from his finding a huge audience. Grindhouse made only $25 million, and the two Kill Bill films made only $70 and $66 million, respectively. Yes, Pulp Fiction did gross a respectable $107 million, but the bloom has come off the rose considerably since then. I don’t think this pick is going to give you what you want for its price. I predict $60 million, tops, nine Top 5 and four PTA.

The other half of the duo Nico once dubbed “Tarantriguez” is aiming at a much, MUCH younger audience with Shorts, a wacky kiddie comedy Jon Cryer, James Spader, Leslie Mann, Kat Dennings, William H. Macy and a whole bevy of young talent. The plot centers around eleven-year-old Toby “Toe” Thompson, who one day finds a magical rainbow-colored rock that grants wishes to anyone who holds it.

Well, come on. We were all kids once. What would YOU wish for? Super powers? Enormous wealth? To be big and strong and not repeatedly shoved into lockers? (Sorry, Donte, if that dredged up painful memories.) If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know that the wackiness level of what follows goes off the charts, like, up to a Jumanji level.

Will kids like it? Very probably. It IS the same guy who directed all three Spy Kids movies, and those were pretty big successes. The effects will be cheesy as all get-out (like that matters), which may turn off the adults that accompany their children, but again, I doubt it will affect Shorts’ box-office prospects all that much.

It is only $8 in Ultimate, but it’s early User Rating is not very good (4.5), and I doubt it has much more than five Top 5 points in its tank. It’s a much more viable pick in Box Office (for $9), because looking down the line, there really isn’t that much kid-centric stuff coming up. We’re getting into the fall months, which are top-heavy with dramas and horror flicks, and the only film with true kid appeal through the end of October is Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, and that’s not for four weeks.

Many people go to college with a plan of what they are going to do with their lives after graduation. But many MANY more, whether it be through apathy, indecision or just plain laziness, have no clear direction of what happens after their education is complete. This is the focus of Post Grad, directed by Vicky Jenson, who, if you may remember, was the co-director of animated hits Shrek and Shark Tale. It stars Gilmore Girls’ Alexis Bledel as Ryden Malby, who is forced to move back in with her rather eccentric family (which includes Michael Keaton, Carol Burnett and Jane Lynch) after her career plans fizzle almost immediately after takeoff. What follows is a light-hearted comedy, as Ryden explores both her uncertain future and a possible relationship with her best friend Adam (Zach Gilford), who has always harbored a not-too-subtle crush on her.

This actually seems like a good movie. Regrettably, it will probably get washed away in the tide of bigger, louder, more star-studded films. It don’t think it’s worth $6 in Ultimate; you’d be better off spending that cash on a good PTA earner. However, in Box Office, it is only $5, which makes it officially the cheapest wide-release pick on the roster. It may not earn more than $15 million, but I guarantee it will outearn everything else on the menu with a smaller price tag.

And now, let’s gab about August 21st’s limited-release films.

Taxidermia ($3 Ult, $1 BO) – this three-year-old Hungarian film is actually coming out TODAY, if you can believe it, in New York. It is a dark comedy, following the lives of three generations of men; a military orderly during WWII, an aspiring speed-eater during the Cold War, and a modern-day taxidermist. It is being shown in the Hungarian language, with English subtitles.

Okay, it’s got a decent RT score (78%) and a good IMDb Rating (7.1/3500), but I question any film that takes three years to be released in the U.S. If you want this film, you’ll get good numbers in one category for sure, and God willing, you may scratch out a PTA point or two. Of course, since it comes out TODAY, if you don’t have it, you can’t get it now, so why am I even talking about it? (Evil grin.)

World’s Greatest Dad ($6 Ult, $2 BO) – NOW we’re talking. Debuting in New York and Los Angeles comes this outing from comedian/director Bob(cat) Goldthwait, and it stars Robin Williams as Lance Clayton, a failed writer who teaches poetry to a rather miniscule high-school class. Daryl Sabara (the boy from Spy Kids, all growed up) plays Lance’s underachieving son Kyle.

From the title, one might expect a sappy, Ned Flanders-style heartwarmer. Nuh-uh. This film is as dark as they come, full of “lasciviously perverse, refreshingly original comedy that takles love, loss and our curious quest for infamy.” It was a HUGE hit at Sundance earlier this year, currently boasts an 8.6 Rating and “90% Fresh” score, and has also been called “Robin Williams’ best role in years”. I can’t top Brian Orndorf’s quote for the life of me: “It’s a double miracle: a stupendous comedy and a great argument for mass sterilization.” Oh, man, that’s good shit…

For only $6, you’re looking at at least four or five PTA points, and it may hold on in that category for a second week. This film, for Ultimate players, is the whole package. It’s as close, for limited releases, to a sure thing as you’re going to find, and it’s my PTA pick of the week, by a country mile.

My One and Only ($6 Ult, $2 BO) – Wow. A period piece starring Renee Zellweger. Jeez, that woman’s spent so much time acting like a girl from the 1920’s, can’t someone just build a time machine and ship her there? Honestly, I’ve lost count of how many turn-of-the-century roles she’s taken!

Okay, rant over. Though I have no interest in this film, you very well might. It is also debuting in New York and L.A., on four screens, and set to expand on September 4th. It has a “100% Fresh” score on RT (with only five reviews) and an 8.1 User Rating on IMDb, but I’m comfortable crediting that to Kevin Bacon, Chris Noth and the set designers than to Miss Perkypout.

Sorry, did it again. Renee plays Anne Devreaux, a glamourpuss who leaves her cheating husband (Bacon) and goes from city to city with her two sons looking for a wealthy man to fund a new life for her. Sounds delightful. But the critics seem to like it, so… It may pick up a few PTA points, and its User Rating sure won’t hurt you. But I’ll gouge my own eyes out before I see it. Next!

Five Minutes of Heaven ($4 Ult, $2 BO) – It’s been a tumultuous year for Liam Neeson. The Irish actor no sooner had a mondo hit in Taken when he lost his beloved wife, Natasha Richardson, due to a tragic skiing accident. But he’s back again, in a film that won the World Cinema Directding Award (for Oliver Hirschbiegel) as well as the Screenwriting Award (for Guy Hibbert) at Sundance this year.

Neeson plays Alistair Little, who, when he was 17 years old, killed a 19-year-old man named Jim Griffin, in front of Jim’s 11-year-old brother Joe during a rather tumultuous period in Ireland’s recent history. Little spends twelve years in prison for the crime, and 33 years after the murder, the two agree to meet for the purposes of making a documentary, but Little is unaware that Joe (James Nesbitt) actually plans to kill him. The title refers to the time the Joe would ostensibly have to enjoy his revenge.

It seems to be an age-old tale of morality; will Joe seek redemption for Little’s crimes? Will he accept forgiveness if it is offered? The kudos heaped on this film at Sundance seem to indicate that it is fantastically written and directed, but critics seem to agree that it is not an easy film to watch, and it doesn’t really bring anything new to films of its ilk. It currently sits at a 7.2 User Rating (with just under 1,000 votes), and will be showing on only one screen according to Box Office Mojo. That can be either a good or bad thing, as you know. It may very well be a surprise hit (like In the Loop was a few weeks ago), but it is definitely the riskiest of all the limited-release picks this week.


My predictions for the weekend of August 21-23, 2009:

1. Inglourious Basterds - $22 million
2. District 9 - $20 million
3. Shorts - $13 million
4. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - $11 million
5. The Time Traveler’s Wife - $9 million
6. Post Grad - $7 million


Well, that will do it for me for another week. Next week, I close out August with dueling horror flicks: Rob Zombie’s second chapter in his Michael Myers rebirth, Halloween 2, and the fourth chapter in the gruesome “you can’t cheat death” series, Final Destination: Death Trip 3D. There will also be three other titles: Ang Lee’s latest venture, Taking Woodstock, Patton Oswalt in the controversial Big Fan; and The September Issue, a documentary about Vogue magazine’s world-famous editor-in-chief Anna Wintour.

Later!


P.S. Got it. You guys are the A-1 sauce on my New York cut. Yeah, that fits.

This week's trailers:

Another great thread.

Anyways, I think I will low ball the openers (since I've hardly seen any ads for the new films).
1.District 9 $20 million
2.Inglorious Basterds $18 million
3.The Time Traveler's Wife $10 million
4.G.I. Joe $9 million
5.Shorts $8 million
- Julie and Julia $7 million
- X-Games 3-D $4 million
- Post Grad $3 million

Middle of the day for you Shryke?? Did you get the day off from work for your big 4-0 or something? Or do you have access from work again?

Took the day off.

I actually wrote the column over the weekend, and plugged in the final numbers this morning. I wanted to post the column and update the stats today, so I would have the evening free. Will be posting those right now.

5 mins of heaven was released in the UK as a TV drama. While In the Loop was a spikey and very witty film, 5 Mins plays out like a Tv adaptation of a stage play. Don't expect any results from this besides a 7.0 user rating.

Taxidermia is a bizarre movie, somewhere between horror and surrealism, and again I don't see it nabbing any points.

One of the characters in Taxidermia shoots fire out of his penis.

Special thanks to numbersix for his review of Inglourious Basterds, which is now up on TLMR.

Here's a direct link:

http://www.thelatestmoviereviews.com/2009/08/21/inglouriousbasterds.html#med