A Short Story By Myself (Warning: Graphic Content)

I've been trying to do some writing exercises but I get writer's block all the time. My problem seems to be that I can't write happy endings. But apparently I can write anything that's extreme and tragic. Here it is, a graphic piece of one's mind taking over everything else in one frightening night of a statistic.

Note: this ISN'T a suicide note. The characters here are completely ficitional. I should be here in the morning and the morning after that. I am alright. I just need some self time.

Execute

She doesn't like you in that way. She never did like you in that way. She only wanted to be friends. You were too fucking stupid to realize that. It took you seven god damned years to finally figure out that she didn't care about you, you spineless sack of shit. But what did you do? You failed to listen to me. You failed to listen me. Why do you fail to listen to me? Oh yes, because you think that dreams come true. Well let me tell you something. Dreams don't come true. Dreams crumble into ashes. Just like old buildings.

You think she was a dream. Well, you shouldn't have told her that. And you shouldn't have ignored her either. Because she wasn't a dream. She was a fucking nightmare! She was to me. To you, she wasn't. She was a dream. A fruitless dream that was never going to come true. Deal with it, you son of a bitch. What are you going to do, asshole? Cry about it. It's all your damned fault that she hates you. All yours.

So you are crying about it? Crying over a silly little girl. Perfect. You are officially the most pathetic excuse for a person ever. Crying is for something like a dying relative or a hostage situation, not for something like a relationship that never even happened. Shitheads like you make me sick.

It looks like that you're listening to my advice. Because you've got a gun. 44 Magnum, that's a good gun. I hear it can go through your body and the bodies of others. So what are you going to do, off yourself? Good because no else cares about yourself anyway, you fat sack of shit. And also if you still care about her, give her your suicide note. That will fuck her up for the rest of her life. That bitch deserves it.

And now that you've left your suicide note to the little whore, we can get to the good stuff. What's it going to be, the temple or the mouth? My brain says the temple but my gut says the mouth. But how do I know? I'm your fucking mind. I'm not real. You are one big fucked up head case. You hear that knock on the door? That's her. Go answer it. Do what you feel to her. It's called payback for those failed years.

If you didn't like me in that way, then you won't like me in this way either. You made me do it. Nothing can stop me now. It's over.

Uhhh....

I thought this was a cool line though:

My brain says the temple but my gut says the mouth.

Buscemi wrote:I've been trying to do some writing exercises but I get writer's block all the time. My problem seems to be that I can't write happy endings. But apparently I can write anything that's extreme and tragic.

That isn't writer's block Busci. That is called "stop thinking about what you think people want to hear andd write what you feel."

I struggled with this for years. I tried to write how everybody else was writing and everything I wrote was shit. It sounded fake and transparent. Then I finally started writing the stories that I would want to read and then things just clicked. My writing improved because I was not trying to fake a different voice and then I found it easier to write in general since it was all in my head. Of course writing is still the hardest thing I have ever done or will ever do but by eliminating that one handicap it made it a bit easier. Just concentrate on writing the story and fuck those thoughts that say you need to write a happy ending or that no one will want to read this if it is disturbing. It is all psychobabble BS. There are millions of people and millions of minds and none of us love the same thing. Some people like puppies and ice cream and other like dead bodies and graphic porno.

This "exercise" is full of emotion. Almost an emotional overload. I've tried similar tactics when I'm feeling antsy to be creative but can't get focused. It can back fire though draining yourself of all that emotion at one time is like taking a big ole emotional shit. If it's too big or too much of a dump, you wear yourself out before you get started. I think you and I would have had a lot in common had we gone to school together, and then there is the 20 year difference. Be patient. Good things take time (and I'm not just talking about the writing). Reading this makes me wish I would have held on to some of my journals from high school and college.

Donte77 wrote:

Buscemi wrote:I've been trying to do some writing exercises but I get writer's block all the time. My problem seems to be that I can't write happy endings. But apparently I can write anything that's extreme and tragic.

That isn't writer's block Busci. That is called "stop thinking about what you think people want to hear andd write what you feel."

I struggled with this for years. I tried to write how everybody else was writing and everything I wrote was shit. It sounded fake and transparent. Then I finally started writing the stories that I would want to read and then things just clicked. My writing improved because I was not trying to fake a different voice and then I found it easier to write in general since it was all in my head. Of course writing is still the hardest thing I have ever done or will ever do but by eliminating that one handicap it made it a bit easier. Just concentrate on writing the story and fuck those thoughts that say you need to write a happy ending or that no one will want to read this if it is disturbing. It is all psychobabble BS. There are millions of people and millions of minds and none of us love the same thing. Some people like puppies and ice cream and other like dead bodies and graphic porno.

age could also be a factor.. i wrote some weird shit when i was 18

Honestly does this surprise anyone, considering Buscemi's taste and theories on what movies should be? I would expect anything you write to be very dark.