WAS IT WORTH IT? Shrykespeare grades the films of Febrary

February was an interesting month, to be sure… some pleasant surprises, a fair amount of disappointments. But now that the February films have all but gone from our movie houses, let’s look back and grade them on their merits as picks, going in ascending order.

Not much middle ground this month… everything either did very well for the money involved, or blew chunks all over our rosters.


Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Movie
Cost: $19 U, $18 BO
Stats: $19.2M, 4 PTA, 4 Top 5, 1.3 UR
Yikes. Even considering this film actually picked up a few points in two categories, the fact that this film ended up with the worst User Rating in the history of this game (and IMDb), along with a final multiplier of just over ONE, makes this the worst pick of the month.
Grade: An unqualified F.

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li
Cost: $6 U, $6 BO
Stats: $8.7M, 0 PTA, 0 Top 5, 4.3 UR
Coming out the same weekend as Jonas Brothers, this one ended up sucking nearly as bad.
Grade: D-

The International
Cost: $19 U, $15 BO
Stats: $25.5M, 0 PTA, 0 Top 5, 6.8 UR
Wow. All that money for ZERO Top 5? The bitch of it is, this was actually a pretty good movie.
Grade: D

Push
Cost: $20 U, $19 BO
Stats: $31.6M, 1 PTA, 0 Top 5, 6.5 UR
Another high-priced failure. And another pretty good film that deserved better.
Grade: D+

Fired Up
Cost: $6 U, $6 BO
Stats: $16.8M, 0 PTA, 0 Top 5, 5.2 UR
What, you actually expected more from this film?
Grade: C-

Fanboys
Cost: $6 U, $3 BO
Stats: $685K, 0 PTA, 0 Top 5, 7.7 UR
Funny premise, hilarious trailer. What happened?
Grade: C-

Pink Panther 2
Cost: $16 U, $14 BO
Stats: $35.9M, 0 PTA, 2 Top 5, 4.8 UR
Stupid sometimes sells. Stupid can even be funny. Stupid Part 2, however? Not so much.
Grade: C

Confessions of a Shopaholic
Cost: $15 U, $12 BO
Stats: $43.9M, 0 PTA, 2 Top 5, 5.8
In the duel between Valentine’s Day rom-coms, this one lost. By a mile.
Grade: C

Friday the 13th
Cost: $13 U, $11 BO
Stats: $65.0M, 2 PTA, 5 Top 5, 6.2
Considering how many horror movies came out in the first six weeks of the year, this one turned out pretty well.
Grade: B

Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail
Cost: $15 U, $12 BO
Stats: $90.5M, 8 PTA, 15 Top 5, 2.8 UR
TP’s biggest hit to date. A terrific pick all around, except for the abysmal (and, sadly, expected) User Rating.
Grade: B+ (Ultimate), A+ (Box Office)

Two Lovers
Cost: $6 U
Stats: $2.9M, 8 PTA, 7.6 UR
Good results for the Joaquin faithful.
Grade: A

Gomorrah
Cost: $14 U
Stats: $1.4M, 13 PTA, 7.2 UR
Few PTA picks that cost this much end up being worth it, but this one definitely was.
Grade: A

He’s Just Not That Into You
Cost: $15 U, $11 BO
Stats: $93.4M, 5 PTA, 12 Top 5, 6.5 UR
Well, for what it’s worth, this film ended up being the top-grossing film in February, and for a lot few bucks than a host of other films.
Grade: A

Coraline
Cost: $8 U, $9 BO
Stats: $74.8M, 6 PTA, 8 Top 5, 8.1 UR
Egads, I didn’t think this film would do THIS well. Produced outstanding numbers in all four categories.
Grade: A+


And, the best pick of February:

Under the Sea 3D
Cost: $11 U
Stats: $5.8M, 22 PTA, 7.2 UR
Twenty-two? TWENTY-TWO? Gotta love IMAX documentaries, don’t’cha?
Grade: A++

You left out Friday the 13th.

Madea and HJNTITY were def great picks...

Buscemi wrote:You left out Friday the 13th.

My bad. I'll add it now.

Shrykespeare wrote:
Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Movie
Cost: $19 U, $18 BO
Stats: $19.2M, 4 PTA, 4 Top 5, 1.3 UR
Yikes. Even considering this film actually picked up a few points in two categories, the fact that this film ended up with the worst User Rating in the history of this game (and IMDb), along with a final multiplier of just over ONE, makes this the worst pick of the month.
Grade: An unqualified F.

FUCK THE JONAS!!!! (so how many emails have you getten from me with that sentence now? 6? 8? LOL)

Thanks to these goddamn pre-pubescent flop artists, I was booted from the HY leagues in Round 1. Well the flop that is Bride Wars helped boot me in the BO HY.

They've now got a show on The Disney Channel called J.O.N.A.S. Apparently, it's an attempt to outdo The Monkees.

Meanwhile, I bet you'd change the channel to Nickelodeon to whack off to iCarly.

Buscemi wrote:They've now got a show on The Disney Channel called J.O.N.A.S. Apparently, it's an attempt to outdo The Monkees.

Meanwhile, I bet you'd change the channel to Nickelodeon to whack off to Wizards of Waverly Place.

Fixed

Wizards Of Waverly Place is on The Disney Channel.

Selena Gomez is nice looking but I prefer Miranda Cosgrove. She seems to have that hot weird girl thing going.

Damn, this topic took a disturbing turn in only three posts.

Thanks a LOT, Donte.

And it's nine e-mails, BTW. (Grin.)

dude buscemi r u insane? have u seen another cinderella story? selena gomez is hot! miranda's got nothing on her

i agree wrestler Selena Gomez is hotter than miranda cosgrove both good looking girls but Selena is better looking.

I think they are both illegal in my state.

in indian if they're within 4 years its ok so its almost legal

I have no idea who either of these girls are. Have they ever been in any babysitter porno? If so I may have seen them. If they exist only on nickelodeon and the disney channel I won't know them.

And you are all very welcome for the terrible twist of the convo.

10, Shrykey.

Babysitter porn is a very underrated sub-genre, I only have a couple in my secret porno hard-drive collection. But they're pretty good stuff.

I also bought that John Leguizamo movie, The Babysitters, for the exact same reason, but I haven't sat down with my lotion to watch it yet...

(Too much?)