One Thousand

to celebrate my 1000th, i share with you some random excerpts from a movie script i wrote when i was 18... just go ahead and assume that any spelling/grammar errors are intended for comedic purposes (which saves me the trouble of proof-reading)..

these are pulled randomly from throughout the script, so don't expect any consistency between the passages

I have no idea how these would string together to form a movie, but it would make a hell of a variety show starring Trey Parker and Matt Stone

That shit was cracking me up. "I am sorry for bringing that crazy guy." "Dude that was you." hahahahahha

I want to read this whole fucking thing to see if it makes sense or makes perfect no sense.

Not good. Simply, not good.

Some of that shit is hilarious. It plays like an episode of Robot Chicken and I love that show.

"Well, uh, I call that The Cop Killer"
Funny stuff.

Of course, to be taken seriously as a spec, there's some issues. But I'm sure that's not why you posted it...

Buscemi wrote:Not good. Simply, not good.

Ouch.

That was very funny Nspan i quite enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing and congrats on the 1000th post.

I absolutely KNEW that Buscemi would hate that. It actually reminded me of the Whitest Kids You Know a little bit and it is just the opposite of "Boush humor." Don't worry NSpan, he hated Hot Rod, it shouldn't hurt that bad.

The Sellin' Pussy line cracked me up.

The script reminded me of a bad Friedberg/Seltzer project. And right now, we need a lot less of that.

Well, as I said, I was only 18. And--God knows--we all said a lot of stupid shit when we were 18.

You're on fire today Spannaus!

NSpan wrote:Well, as I said, I was only 18. And--God knows--we all said a lot of stupid shit when we were 18.

SUBLIMINAL!

Ouch. Point N-Span.

Yeah some of it needed some edited and polishing but it was funny. That is more important. And I wasn't kidding, I would like to read the rest if you wouldn't mind. I promise not to steal more than 3 or 4 of your better jokes for my drunken conversation.

Send me yer email address, Donte. if i had it before, I've lost it.

nick at spannaus dot com

So, how awesome would a show co-written by Nspan & Donte be... eh? eh?

becs wrote:So, how awesome would a show co-written by Nspan & Donte be... eh? eh?

...be careful what you wish for...

I only read the first bit so far, but dude that shit is comedy. I don't think it's a bad starting template actually. Obviously your dialogue would change, as you've gotten older (mine certainly has), but there's some funny stuff there.

NSpan wrote:

becs wrote:So, how awesome would a show co-written by Nspan & Donte be... eh? eh?

...be careful what you wish for...

Yikes, we would get banned. It would be the ultimate high brow toilet humor filled show ever. LOL

Sounds fun.

I tried to get Donte to write a show with me about a pregnancy pact (loosely based on the 2008 incident in Glouchester, MA). He turned it down but I still want to create the antithesis of Juno (you know, something that doesn't glorify teen pregnancy like Juno did).

I'm actually surprised anyone hasn't optioned that story into a movie, or at least a book.

Probably because no one seems interested in a story showing the ugly truth behind teen pregnancy. They only seem to want things that glorify it (Juno, The Secret Life Of An American Teenager, MTV's 16 and Pregnant, episodes of Maury).