(Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

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Was this REALLY Nico's FINAL post to the (original) Fantasy Moguls Forum?

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(Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by Nicodemus on Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:00 am

NOTE TO READERS: THIS IS, AT LAST, THE FINAL TEXT (YES, REALLY!). NO FURTHER REVISIONS, CORRECTIONS, OR MODIFICATIONS WILL BE FORTHCOMING HERE. (NSPANNAUS, THAT MEANS THIS IS NOW "SAFE" FOR YOU TO READ, MY FRIEND.) [GRIN]

IF, BY ANY CHANCE, I HAVE -- ENTIRELY UNINTENTIONALLY, YOU MAY BE ASSURED -- NEGLECTED TO MENTION ANY FANTAVERSIANS, I WILL BE HAPPY TO MODIFY THE "ECHO" POSTING OF THIS FAREWELL MESSAGE, OVER AT THE ALTERNAFANTAVERSE (http://thefantaverse.forumotion.net); PLEASE JUST 'REPLY' TO THIS POSTING OVER THERE, AND I'LL GET TO IT EVENTUALLY, I PROMISE. PLEASE BE PATIENT -- I HAVE SOME THINGS TO GET THROUGH OVER THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS, BUT, REST ASSURED, I WILL SEE TO IT THAT EVERYONE GETS THEIR PROPER DUE.

HERE, THEN, ARE THE LAST WORDS I WILL OFFER -- UNDER ANY NAME -- FOR 'PUBLICATION' HERE AT FANTASY MOGULS...

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE RIDE. I CERTAINLY HAVE.


--NICO.




Greetings and salutations! Nicodemus here, once more -- and for what will be, without question, absolutely THE LAST TIME EVER here at Fantasy Moguls, I'm forty percent sure this time -- hijacking valuable bandwidth, appropriating increasingly scarce and about-to-be-foreclosed-on digital column inches and basically clogging the Hell outta the plumbing with predictable verbosity, debatable relevance, inevitable flamboyance, and distressingly reasurring snarkasm in a sweetly ineffectual final bid for fame, fortune, or my very own Fantasy Moguls coffee mug (squee!) before the lights go out, the servers cool and the cyberian real estate formerly occupied by the Fantaverse gets taken over by yet another low-grade amateur porn site. In other (and far, far fewer) words, welcome, one and, erm, two, to the no-shit FINAL edition of ONE MONTH OUT, which also, correctly punctuated, happens to be the gist of the landlord's November 1 registered letter to we soon-to-be-uprooted denizens of the Fantaverse, right below that friendly PAYMENT DUE stamp and a terse reminder that, owing to our habitual slovenliness and inexplicable, continuing rat infestation, we won't be getting our deposit back...and leave all keys on the mantle, if you please. Too bad they never saw 2010: The Year We Make Contact ; right about now, in fact, I'd give my right nut for a cryptic celestial message reading: ALL THESE IP ADDRESSES ARE YOURS | USE THEM TOGETHER | USE THEM IN PEACE. That is, of course, if the fate of said right nut weren't already bespoke... But, hey, more about that later.

Some two years ago, I began my all-too-brief 'career' with Fantasy Moguls in much the same manner I've employed, to great, enduring, and, actually, more than a little disconcerting success, to gain the attention of prospective employers, benefactors, my political party, the Government, and at least one reliably aggrieved spouse throughout my roughly forty years of what, for lack of a better term, you might term my existence: I bugged the Jesus jumping holy crap out of 'em, until they simply could not ignore me any longer, and were forced to either [A] shoot me, or [2] themselves, or -- if I'd succeeded in actually cracking their sanity, which, now that I think about it, I'd have to consider a "win" on its own merit -- [C] simply give me that which I, not unreasonably, was demanding. [Note: This is how to, if not get, precisely, AHEAD in life, at least have a fine time lagging with the other roadkill, stragglers and perennial runners-up... BECOME AN ENTREPRENEURIAL TERRORIST. You don't have to follow MY lead, even, necessarily; for inspiration, you can also turn to characters like Bud Fox in Wall Street, or, Buddy Ackerman in Swimming With Sharks, or, Buddy / Syndrome in The Incredibles. ...Really, any 'bud' will do, with the possible exception of, erm, My Buddy (My Buddy / My Buddy / Wherever I go / He goes...), 'Rosebud,' and, of course, Bud Lite. Decide what it is that you really, really want out of this particular plane of existence, figure out who can best hook you up with it, and then just bludgeon the Hell out of 'em, psychologically, spiritually and, if necessary, literally, until they either relent or remove themselves or you to ANOTHER plane of existence offering better odds, more consistently just outcomes or at least more open bars.]

But (more) seriously. I was a fan of the game well before it ever went "live" -- A rotisserie (dating myself, there, me suspects) league for MOVIES, dude! How cool is that! (necessitating, perhaps, a frank discussion of what "cool" actually IS, to the unwashed, uneducated and undorked) -- and remember well that first chaotic, bug-happy "snake"-style draft, a wholly raucous caucus (with apologies to Berkely Breathed) conducted late one Sunday autumn evening, trapped in a league with five guys named John and a Whitman's Sampler of the most indisputably lame and moronic studio names ever excreted: Pare-A-Mount Pictures and 20th Century Pox and Looniversal and Just.Plain.AWFUL puns like that, all of which, it should surprise no one, were, erm, in fact, mine. (My bad.) Six randomly allocated nerds fighting over which 'G' film, Gridiron Gang, The Guardian or Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties, would be the bigger blockbuster in that inaugural three-month season (go Guard!)-- or whether The Wicker Man, Unaccompanied Minors or Arthur and the Invisibles was THE hands-down, no-bullshit, no-recount-necessary worst sixth-round choice of them all (Arthur, to no one’s surprise, WAS all but ‘invisible’ at American cineplexes) -- while a curious little -- erm, not SO little, actually-- title, improbably named Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, roundly ignored by pretty much everybody, was preparing to fling mangled Kazakh, ground beef of sacred cow and copious amounts of bear spoor all over our hastily scribbled crib sheets. To paraphrase Ellis “Maybe it’s ‘cause I’m Irish” Redding in The Shawshank Redemption, yes, all in all, it's fair to say I loved this game, immediately, intrinsically, and unreservedly.

I was instantly addicted, not only to this rather incredible contest calling equally on my love of film, encyclopedic dorkine familiarity with IMDb and preternatural affinity for Texas Hold'Em, but with the site's impressive collection of talented columnists: Mase was already a mainstay, and within weeks I was annoying my long-suffering spouse by calling her excitedly into the living room to catch his latest thirty-second soundbite on Fox recapping the week that was for Britney Spears (She just popped out ANOTHER friggin’ Federline! My God, has she no shame?), or Clint Eastwood (Is Letters from Iowa Jima just another high-minded, but ultimately forgettable, blisteringly irrelevant boutique vanity project... his very own Looking for Richard?), or Al Gore (Hey, is it POSSIBLE the former next President of the United States could finally, actually WIN something he's up for, like, an Oscar? Naaaaah), exclaiming, "Honey! Check this out! I friggin' KNOW this guy! ...Erm, sort of." And he wasn't alone, though our own peerless budding multimedia wonking head, who also btw doubles as a personal portable aerosol defense system, was clearly the best of a veritable stable of assorted, unlikely-named pundits, commentators and self-styled "experts". He was also, not to put too fine a point on it, the most dependable, not in the sense of prognosticatory accuracy (though he earned high marks there, too, right from the start), but because he was the guy whose columns could be relied upon to be there, freshly updated and comprehensive, as one day segued into the next on the West Coast and the eastern sky began to lighten for aspiring Moguls on the Atlantic Seaboard. For nocturnal cretins like yours truly, who persit in scrabbling restlessly along the gutters and service tunnels of the world as bakeries are ramping up, hobos are being rolled, hookers are packing up shop, newspapers are being delivered and elected officials are sneaking home to their families, Fantasy Moguls was like manna from Heaven's Gate, an island of sincere, sober, sumptuous movie fandom adrift in an ocean of cookie-cutter Hollywood commentary, sophomoric self-lampoonery and prepackaged studio pablum.

I remember vividly taking Mase to task for what I interpreted at the time to be some vague, subsurface antireligulosity lurking beneath an entirely throwaway zinger about Mel Gibson and the passion of the Nazis. Incensed, I tapped out a bold, bellicose, belligerent excoriation of him and his ungodly, irreverent Left Coast sympathies that first (for FM) Christmas Eve in response to his latest faithfully posted essay. He met my vitriol with curiosity, blunted my sarcasm with reason, and obliterated my obnoxiousness with good-natured empathy. He complimented me for my "passion" -- I got that much, much later, btw -- and encouraged me to continue to keep him on his toes, keep posting, keep it real. Well, damn. This guy's…pretty friggin'...cool, actually. Bet he gets a kick out of writing this stuff, seeing its impact and gauging the response of the thousands of players who are desperately scanning the site for affirmation, contradiction or just an excuse to be pissy, irrational and bitchy. Even if he does hear from the odd insomniac lunatic down in Texas, now and again. A (dangerous, irresponsible, apocalyptic from certain rational points of view) thought began to form: Gee, I wonder if I could do that?

As it turned out, I was already refining my pitch to be FM's next featured columnist… I just wasn’t aware of it yet, except at the basest, most fundamental -- even, instinctual -- level. Practically since the game had debuted, I'd been running at least three -- gee, it's funny but, that used to seem like a LOT, eh, Shrykey? -- leagues, filled to the rafters with friends and coworkers and assorted film geeks after my own swollen, cholesterol-pumping heart who craved some diversion to fill, peanut butter-like, the cracks in our souls that appeared between Monday's box office receipts and Friday's entertainment sections in our local papers. I ran down the available titles, did some superficial research, formulated certain predictable and workmanlike rationales, and made up the rest, providing what passed for inspired -- or was it insipid? -- commentary in mind-bogglingly rambling, undisciplined E-mails to my various crews, posses and more or less exasperated unwilling acquaintances. A random sampling of early, pre-‘Nicodemus’ wit, wisdom and / or waste of space:

I’ve never seen a February so crowded with potential blockbusters – the Hannibal prequel, Bridge to Terabithia, Music and Lyrics, [Tyler Perry's] Daddy’s Little Girls, The Number 23, Breach (that one’s a stretch, I admit); even, God help me, Ghost Rider, but in my opinion, first among equals on this impressive list has to be Norbit.

...Spider-Man 3 is beginning to generate some buzz. The newer trailers look better, and Sony’s putting a lot of effort into the marketing strategy. All in all, though, I still think this one’s going to be a modest misfire...

...300 is easily the most anticipated film of the Spring, and has an outside chance to become this decade's Matrix -- an off-season release that comes out of nowhere to assult the domestic Box Office with a Whoa-inducing bombardment of unmatched coolness, gives rise to a blizzard of would-be imitators and elevates its helmer to an entirely new level. If I was to invest in any rising Hollywood star, it would surely be Zack Snyder.


…For the record, it’s worth noting that, of Hannibal Rising, Bridge to Terabithia, Music and Lyrics, Tyler Perry’s Daddy’s Little Girls, The Number 23, Breach, Ghost Rider, and Norbit, only ONE managed to eclipse $100M at the domestic box office -- any guesses? -- leaving five, or better than half of said titles, to piffle into, for the most part, extremely well-earned relative obscurity at $50M or less (in the case of the franchise-eating Hannibal Rising, much, MUCH less). With $210M, however, 300 did manage to advance The Matrix’s formidable 1999 first-quarter haul by an impressive 25%... and Mr. Snyder is, in fact, the fastest-rising director since Peter Jackson, attached to a variety of very high-profile projects including, of course, Watchmen, a remake of Heavy Metal, the long-languishing-in-development Illustrated Man, and a Frank Miller-conceived 300 prequel. Then again, Spider-Man 3 only turned out to be the top film of the year, at $336M, though also, paradoxically, the lowest-grossing entry in the series. All in all, however, I was, at best, a .500 hitter right out of the on-deck circle, but something caught the attention of the oft-rumored Powers That Be (refer to my earlier advice about entrepreneurial terrorism), because -- in response to a one-off E-mail to the site's administrators offering a myriad suggestions for long-term enhancements to the game -- I began receiving feedback, followed by encouragement toward my further involvement with FM, from one of the site’s conceivers, designers and primary backers, a talented, experienced, and hugely capable Internet marketing professional I would come to know as...moviebabe.


[...continued...]


Last edited by Nicodemus on Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:21 am; edited 2 times in total
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(Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell. [PART II]

Post by Nicodemus on Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:05 am

Here seems a good place to reveal some secrets about those nigh-mythical Powers That Be :

First, they’re just like the rest of us…only, more so. They come from everywhere, geographically, professionally and philosopically: The East Coast, La-La Land; entertainment journalism, sports branding; bottom-line-focused, profit-seeking capitalism and genial, gentle grass-roots geekiosity. No two résumés at Fantasy Moguls were ever alike, and the broad range of experiences inherent to its eager staff and bevy of talented contributors was always one of its primary, and by the way absolutely irreplaceable, assets: No mere hippie burnout enclave or yuppified consumerist monolith, Fantasy Moguls was, from square one, the greatest beneficiary of its authors’ unique and diverse experiences... With the exception, of course, of its users. In fact, I often thought the site should have had, not a .com or even .org, but a .borg domain identifer, because, as with that other, ever-so-slightly more enduring and expansive Collective, FM had an uncanny ability, right from jump, of adding its contributors’ uniqueness(es) to its own. (And, as we Fantaversians came to learn, resistance was so very, very futile.) [Grin]

Second, owing in part to the plethora of better-financed, but ultimately far less engaging and satisfying, competing concepts available on the Internet -- but even more so to the lamentable fact that no truly rational business model was ever conceived or implemented here -- this site was ALWAYS, fundamentally, a labor of love for its creators and contributors, and a difficult, problematic, risky labor at that. There was, from launch, a precarious balance forever being adjusted -- sometimes, messily -- between the laudable aspirations of its financial and materiel patrons, and the shocking paucity of resources available: funds, certainly, as well as technical and programming expertise; but, most -- and most surprisingly, perhaps -- of all, Fantasy Moguls was starved of able and, critically, reliable talent -- and I am speaking as one who, myself, to my everlasting regret, failed, and one more than one occasion, to fulfill my own commitments to the site, to its investors and operators, and, as a matter of fact most painfully, to you.

Over the years, on occasion, Fantasy Moguls ’ chronic, inexplicable lack of reliable staffing became maddeningly evident: There was that one disastrous holiday weekend about a year back, for example, when it seemed for all the world that those fickle, persnickety Powers, like Greek gods, public-utility call center employees, or friends owing money, had unceremoniously de-materialized, leaving we mere mortals to our own devices...to rend our (under)garments, howl at the digital moon and feed on each other in an increasingly hysterical Forum free-for-all. “WHERE ARE THE $#@&ING UPDATES?!?” became every Fantaversian’s default lament, a shrill, specific keen adopted by animals far too domesticated, too pampered, too dependent on timely tracking columns and clockwork estimates and rapid feedback to survive in a world without our masters / handlers / enablers... Sort of like Shih Tzus. Many dozens of very reasonable bedtimes were missed; as a particularly bleak and succorless night dissolved into an equally fatalistic day, mild annoyance was replaced by exasperation, in turn succeeded by anger, and finally transmogrified into a cold, hard, virulent terror. “WHY DON’T THEY %@&#ING ANSWER US?!?!?” was heard, more than read, on more than one occasion, a pathetically plaintive prayer to a pantheon of inconveniently absent gods.

Those of us “on the inside” knew the score. On the surface, Fantasy Moguls appeared every inch the image of a successful, well-serviced, broadly capitalized, highly capable Web presence, and this was and remains the greatest testament and testimony to the diligence, dedication and drive of its staff. But not many knew just how few warm, restless, undercompensated bodies that staff actually comprised. In truth, this enterprising endeavour never exceeded more than a dozen or so phenomenally industrious and enthusiastic souls, certainly not after 85% or so of the initial writing staff wandered off the reservation in early 2007. Like Spock’s mnemonic memory circuit, Fantasy Moguls was made possible not by grants from Shell, Saudi Arabia or the largesse of forward-thinking foundations, but by simply staggering, inconceivable intrepidity, innovation, and imagination, pieced together with the 21st-Century equivalent of stone knives and bearskins, and bound with spit and chicken wire. And, of course, passion. More breeched than birthed, kept aloft on a solitary wing and living day to day on many, many prayers, the site was always a long shot from the rough and into fierce headwinds, pinning its long-term hopes on [A] developing a superior product, [2] attracting and retaining a loyal and growing fan base; and [C] hoping for a game-changing break. I think everyone reading this now will, at last, agree: two out of three ain’t bad. But there was always that implacable, inexorably ticking clock, its hands never more comfortably positioned than a scant five minutes before midnight. In the end, time expired just as the offense was really getting moving, as the team was settling comfortably into a high gear and as the crowd was starting to really get into the game. Blame it on the rain.

Right now, here are some extremely fine people who deserve our thanks for making this game, and this place, and this experience, possible: First and foremost, moviebabe, whose first name is Brenda (and who shall otherwise remain anonymous by this rat's hand, er, paw). Ever wonder why Atomic Moguls is so big on fantasy sports? She’s a big part of that: She used to run an entire American professional sports league’s Internet presence. As a matter of fact, she walked away from a corporate vice-presidency to follow her Muse and fulfill one of her life’s less-than-likely ambitions, turning a pleasurable down-time digital distraction into a viable, expansive online game whose rules were simple but whose complexities, subtleties and strategies were all but infinite. She sank a fair amount of a entire working life's bounty of blood and treasure into this worthy venture, and in so doing pulled together an unbelievably talented team of mostly unremunerated contributors who designed, nurtured and maintained this phenomenon for more than two years. Which leads me to:

filmguy. Cody, the unflappable, inexhaustible and indomitable editor of Fantasy Moguls, is without a doubt one of the most patient, generous and agreeable people I’ve ever known. Did I mention his patience? The guy’s a friggin’ saint. He’d HAVE to be -- from the moment I was promoted to featured columnist, I pushed the envelope, insisting, Montgomery Scott-like, that my prosaic, erm, prose REQUIRED, nay, DEMANDED, four times the word count of every other contributor (combined, some might snark) in order to guarantee that I’d be able to say all that I intended to. “I never use five words, when seventy-three will do,” I remember telling him as we prepped my first installment of ONE MONTH OUT, the former of two aborted attempts at digital domination I would pursue here at Fantasy Moguls. I bet he thought I was kidding, or, at the least, exaggerating slightly. He certainly must have hoped so. I kept punishing him with ever-larger and -more-delayed articles, and I bet he wondered just what the Hell he’d ever done to me, to make me hate him so. It was, of course, nothing personal; my whole world was flying apart in painfully slow-motion, but it would be several months before I gave up my column (the first time, anyway), and I never felt so low in my entire life as when I had to beg him and Brenda to allow me out of my responsibilities -- and not just once, but twice. Cody, my friend, you always kept faith with me, kept the door open and the home fires burning, and I honor you for that. You’re a mensch, and I wish you success in all your future pursuits.

Getting back to it -- I’m saving comments and memories about certain other FM all-stars for later on -- let me now reveal a few tidbits about yours truly. Like my great good friend the Shrykester, I too wrote for my high school newspaper -- I wasn’t nearly cool, rich, good-looking, or reliably stoned enough to qualify for yearbook, but you take what you can get, right? At least, that's what many many former girlfriends have told me [chuckle] -- and once I’d returned to civilian life after several years on active military duty, resumed similar pursuits for my college paper, and also for several local and national campus life-oriented magazines, only one of which, U., is still in existence. My specialty was always film reviews -- my inspiration in this regard was Peter Travers, late of People magazine but now a fixture with Rolling Stone -- and I parlayed this hobby (it was never well-paying enough for me to call it a “career”) into freelance gigs for several national print-medium “alternative” weeklies, as well as regular call-in and guest-hosting roles on regional and nationally syndicated radio programs, such as "USA at Night" and "Texas Overnight". As the century drew to a close, and it became more and more apparent that I would never be quite able to make that difficult leap from journeyman to pseudo-professional journalist (again, not nearly nearly cool, rich, good-looking, or reliably stoned enough), I concentrated more on Web-based platforms for my “talent” -- stop snickering -- joining the staffs of Rockzilla.net and Television Without Pit(h)y, as well as pursuing the odd “dinosaur media” assignment for the Dallas Morning News and Texas Monthly magazine. And these were just my night jobs, that, by the way, always compensated me far, far more in free movie and film festival passes, invitations to sneak peeks and premieres, and infrequent sit-down interviews with film legends -- such as John Sayles , Kevin Spacey and Terrence Malick -- than in actual, you know, federally backed and generally redeemable currency. I built up a network of “industry” contacts, E-friends and wine-bar acquaintances as the city (and my saintly spouse, at home with our angelic young daughter) slept, all the while preserving my secret identity as, variously, not-so-mild-mannered retail district manager, insurance company site director, commercial real estate broker, historical researcher, and college lecturer. (Not to mention, Republican Party volunteer, fundraiser, pollster, strategist, and eventual delegate.) All these experiences, all these relationships -- well, perhaps not so much the GOP ties -- would be invaluable to my sadly abbreviated stint at Fantasy Moguls.

Speaking of which, back to FM. A chance online encounter, that developed into a correspondence, with Steve Mason opened the door to greater contact with the site administrators, and one day late in 2006 I received an E-mail from moviebabe herself, inviting me to share some of the material I was already generating for my own leagues. A few weeks after that, I was offered the reins of ONE MONTH OUT… And the rest is, as they say, history.

[...continued...]


Last edited by Nicodemus on Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:24 am; edited 1 time in total
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(Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell. [PART III]

Post by Nicodemus on Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:08 am

It’s worth repeating, again, how fragile, how frail, how tenuous Fantasy Moguls ’ existence was at that early juncture -- and at so many, many other times throughout its roughly two-and-a-half-year existence, from conception through development, testing, unveiling, not-rapid-enough growth, and, finally, involuntary retirement. It’s more than fair, in fact, to say that the staff has more or less been working themselves into an early grave these last twenty-five or so months, since even before the game first went online. I’ve already mentioned the enormous and phenomenal contributions of Cody and Brenda. It is now time -- rather well past time, if you want to know the truth, but, hey, you do what you can -- for me to extend a so very richly deserved round of sustained applause, as well as my own personal gratitude, to the superlative, multitalented and tireless Steve Mason, easily the Hardest Working Man in the Fantaverse.

I’ve already described my own initially contentious relationship with The Hollywood Hammer. Here, then, is what I neglected to mention: The man’s a force of nature. He not only runs his own chain of West Coast theaters, he does commentary for a veritable who’s-who of entertainment industry publications, outlets and corporations, both on and off camera. And he still makes time, albeit usually not before midnight, to keep us, quite literally, “on track” with some of the most thoroughly researched, professionally written and expertly packaged analysis there is. I know how hard he works -- believe me, I once tried filling in for him, and found myself wholly unsuited to the task -- combing through a literal blizzard of studio research and exhibitor reports and test-audience feedback and journalistic commentaries and critical blurbs and reliably over-the-top marketing puffery to find those rare, glittering nuggets of actually useful and useable information for we gamers to profit from, each and every week, and usually more than once a week. Let me tell ya, folks, for every bad call, he got about twenty not only in the ballpark, but, more often than not, by dropping ‘em right where he had pointed. I tell ya, The Natural's Roy Hobbs has got friggin' nuthin' on this guy.

And, here's the really incredible part: (just like Hobbs, actually, from certain quarters anyway) he took shit for it -- buckets and buckets of it -- every single week, not merely from hacks and haters and turnips and trolls, but from some of this site’s most dedicated and influential players... and, as I mentioned earlier, me included. He took time to read every single comment, each complaint, took all criticism and insults and archair quarterbackery in stride… AND KEPT RIGHT ON PLUGGING AWAY, through birthdays and anniversaries and holidays and even the premieres of some films I’m sure he was dying to, y'know, see, but he had that Friday night update to wrap up, or that Sunday morning analysis to write, or those midweek estimates to relate, and he was always ever-so-conscious of the fact that many, many people were relying on him for news, good or bad, about their slates, pretty much 24-seven-365. He donated vast quantities of his time, energy, and experience, to put information out there for all of us to use in our own games, data to help us shape our strategies, to aid us in our campaigns, always clear, forever comprehensive and, unlike yours truly, dependably concise. He’s never, not once, gotten his due, and now, gentlemen and ladies, it is time. I’d like to invite everyone reading this to put their digital hands together for Mr. Steve Mason, businessman, journalist, and oracle, and beyond a doubt the greatest asset and staunchest ally most of us ever had as we played this extraordinary game. Not for nothing is he known as “Mase”, for like the smithy’s implement, he was an extremely powerful and trusted tool, reliably beating our slates into a more pleasing form, and never, EVER, failing to deliver. My friend, I wish you all the best in all your many exploits for which you are so magnificently suited and capable. We will miss you.

When I took over ONE MONTH OUT, Mase was carrying all the water, original-content-wise, penning as many as a dozen full-length (read: 1000+ words) columns and articles per week and, all by himself, sustaining the fledgling community’s hunger for information, introspection and insightful commentary. At the time FMn had debuted, several months earlier, the number of full-time authors, pundits, and film reviewers (yes, Lt. Dunbar, once here were critics, in herds that shook the sky and trampled the ground, roaming free and unmolested all throughout these hale and hardy lands...until all the people came) included names like Howard Roark (love that nom de plume) and Thomas Donnelly, whose strategy guides foreshadowed the expert tactical analysis of our very own Mister Informative; Dmitry Portnoy, who dissected the relative merits of newly-released trailers and attempted to glean information about their subjects’ eventual box-office performance from audience reactions; Ronald Banks, the original author of OMO, who reviewed and analyzed new DVD releases, as well as premieres and featured content on cable and satellite systems; Whiting Tattoon, our very own film-festival correspondent, who boldly reconnoitered some of the same thematic territories our beloved international fixture, Indie Jones, would later chart to the square decimeter; as well as the ever-present Mase, of course, who not only generated tracking reports, made weekend predictions and related early numbers, but also (along with Lee Farber) scrutinized the industry on a macro level for business trends and studio financial prospects. FM also featured a series of blisteringly snarktastic investigative reports by Mike Ogle into the exploits of the game’s “celebrity” contestants, which at that time included staffers from AICN, The Onion, ESPN and Yahoo! Movies.

Quite an impressive arsenal, wasn’t it? But by February 2007, FM ’s sixth month in existence, they were all gone… All but the worthy, weary Mase, who was generating the equivalent of a college term paper every week for this site while trying to keep tracking, weekend preview, estimates, performance, reviews, and special-edition articles -- not to mention the regular MOVIE MARKET column, and, you know, his career, his business, and his life -- rolling right along, week in, week out. The game itself was going just fine; the early, inevitable kinks had largely been ironed out, and if participation wasn’t quite as massive as The Powers That Be would prefer, FM was getting promotional support from IMDb and mentions on some other sites, and the future looked quite promising. But more, and more diverse, original content was required, and in their time of need, those same Powers took a chance (in an emphatically non-ABBA way; I may be cheap, but, partner, I've NEVER been 'free') on me, and offered authorship of the dormant ONE MONTH OUT.

I actually have very little to say -- for once, right? -- about OMO, other than this: It was a massive undertaking, but also extraordinarily fulfilling, the perfect fit for a wordy would-be wonk who adores research, breathes sarcasm and thrives on minutia. In The Good Shepherd, the makeup of a successful counterintelligence agent is described, variously, as being that of one who is attracted to complexity and detail, has an unyielding passion for what he’s doing, and is a hopeless, if unlikely, romantic. I submit that the same criteria apply to the various columnists who have labored to produce, energize and enliven Fantasy Moguls these past years. It certainly describes yours truly.

By now everyone knows the trials and difficulties my family has faced down of late, necessitating my early departure from not only ONE MONTH OUT but a second, equally ill-fated regular column late last year: the deaths of a grandparent and, for one of us, both parents; a serious bout with pneumonia; shocking injuries, emergency surgeries and an extremely dangerous miscarriage. I can now reveal (yet) one more: I have testicular cancer, a frankly terrible name outdistanced only by the equally accurate and profane 'ball rot'. They didn’t catch it early -- I’m a frankly terrible patient, and put off going to the doctor for more than two months before getting myself checked out -- but it’s not lymphoma, so I’ll be okay, in time; this isn’t the sort of malignancy that spreads, thank God. However, I’m about to get a little bit -- my default manliness requires me to amend that to read, a LOT -- lighter, and soon: I will, in fact, be under the knife (squirm) this coming [chuckle] Monday. So, my return to what I might call active online duty will be delayed, somewhat… again. However, be warned (in true Deadwood fashion, I would encourage all who read this to respond: "Be fucked!"): I’ll be coming back with a vengeance next year, and fully intend to participate in as many rounds of the SuperDuperLeagues as are conceived and scheduled, cutoffs and eliminations and competitors be damned. (Be fucked!) I’m still working on that screenplay -- due to be delivered at the end of next year, and I'm oh-so-very excited to see just where it might go after that point -- and have a contract to teach Russian to Texas Instruments executives beginning in January; and I’m still, naturally, very much a presence in the Republican Party of Texas. Beyond that, I have no idea what the future will bring, except that you can count on me being here, or wherever the Fantaverse happens to remove to, just as soon as, you know, I get my balls chopped off. (One, actually, but, hey, who’s counting?) [Grin]

However, I digress. (Now would be the time, by the way, to take a shot.) Hey, look at the bright side: I’m about to embark on perhaps the most successful diet of my entire adult life. And, no matter his penchant for rhetorical flourishes -- and I'm very much a fan of 'em -- how often does a man actually GET to “give his right nut” for ANYTHING, let alone a clean bill of health, I ask you?

[...continued...]


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(Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell. [PART IV]

Post by Nicodemus on Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:09 am

…So, now, in this next-to-last portion of my predictably extensive final comments, I’d like to recognize and appreciate some (and, likely, not nearly as many as actually deserve it, but, hey, time flies when you’ve got cancer) of the other, truly outstanding individuals who have, through their boundless verve, peerless resourcefulness, relentless zeal, matchless innovation, and endless goodwill, made a once-moribund, uninspired and only minimally inspiring, frankly obligatory online Forum into, well, a Fantaverse: An infinitely engaging, impossibly rich, endlessly inventive, unfailingly affirmative tapestry of intellectual, emotional and spiritual plenty that is unique in all the Internet. A landscape teeming with possibility, a realm overflowing with camaraderie; a tantalizing, bubbling, simmering gumbo of talented individuals, each of them uniquely blessed, who have, improbably, agglomerated into a hive mind of sorts, a mental multiplicity, a Consensus of knowledge and insight and opinion unmatched in any online community, anywhere. Sure, I may have coined the name, but it’s you, the following who, over the course of last two tumultuous and exceptional years, have given the Fantaverse its true meaning and import (and, just this once, I’ll spare you all the burden of your respective Nico-names):

A_Roode;
aquamann2001;
Alyson;
AndTheWinnerIs;
annyonggob888;
ashkul88;
BanksIsDaFuture;
BarcaRulz;
becs;
bentley020;
binkley;
bobbin3000;
Buscemi;
chugsthemonkey;
cRAzY;
delfinasu;
Donte77;
dpilot4226;
friskytiger81;
geezer9687;
iamhollywood;
J.I.;
jameydunne;
jackburton1;
JackO;
jas_8382;
Keyser+Soze;
kid_icarus;
Kompressr;
leetsu;
lillylovelost;
Lovely;
mfrendo;
nickb1016;
NSpannaus;
numbersix_99;
Otter;
prplmnstr;
pulpclub;
rasgriz;
RedRaider;
Ron_Burgundy;
silversurfer19;
StnMan5;
SuperShaan;
synestro;
TDslugger02;
TeeBeeBee;
TheJman;
Thomassi87;
Tonberry3001;
transformers2;
undeadmonkey;
wross2;


(Moguls are in red, and I’ve tried – really, really hard – to include ALL Fantaversians with greater than 100 posts, plus a few personal friends and faves besides. My apologies if I neglected to mention anyone; but, honestly, don’t feel “left out”. You ALL, every single special and singular and irreplaceable one of you reading this, helped to build this place into something really quite extraordinary, and, after all, you know who you are. And so do I, and so do we all, even if this particular “roll call” may have, in all inadvertence, missed you.)


To this list, now, I would also like to add the following luminaries of the Fantaverse:

First, dranscht / Mister Informative. My friend, what an extraordinary, improbable, incredible FIND you were! I am in awe of your perception, your perspective, your perennial utility to ALL Moguls. Your column was absurdly, unremittingly, magnificently helpful, to so very many of your colleagues and competitors. Moreover, you never lacked for new ideas, new insights, new “intelligence” to be applied to this most unusual of battlefields. If you want it, I could see you embarking on a career as a game designer -- or, perhaps even more profitably, a game strategy guide author. But, to be brutally honest, with your powers of observation and discernment, I could just as easily imagine you doing pretty much anything you want: a doctor, a lawyer, a scientist or engineer or professor or astronaut or architect or artist, and every single thing in-between. The sky’s the only limit for you, partner; you have what Tom Wolfe oh-so-rightly termed, “the right stuff”. I encourage you to do whatever it is that fires your passion, for no matter what road you choose, I’m all but certain you’ll find the lofty, ultimate, peerless end of it, quicker than most, and, moreover, in style.

Next, Chienfantome / Indie Jones, who, I’m certain, is fairly apoplectic – Sacre bleu! -- at my oft-invoked Star Trek references here. [Chuckle] Mon ami , I am so very, very glad that the Shrykester persuaded you to join the Fantasy Moguls staff, and I am happy to admit, finally, that you not only have more knowledge of independent, art-house and festival-circuit films than me… you also have far, far superior taste, than yours truly. (This should come as no great surprise to ANYONE... Though, you know, you STILL need to respect the Trekked.) [Grin] Your columns always managed to both inform and interest, a balance often difficult to strike when covering “no-name” releases (and one I often failed to find, myself, while authoring ONE MONTH OUT). You are, without question, the very best thing to come out of France since Beldar and Prymaat Conehead, and I can only hope you can catch on with a local publication in your native land… They may not deserve you, exactly, but they surely do need you, my friend. As we Texans say, Bon chomps, and I hope this fare-thee-well need not be Oh riviera.

…And I would also like to add that there is no doubt but that BOTH of you would be Moguls now, were it not for the supreme time commitments your FM columns required of you (been there, done that), each and every week. To that end, I have taken it upon myself, here, to enreden BOTH your “handles”; post counts be damned, you’re Moguls to me, and everyone reading this, and always will be.

I’d also like to mention the late, lamented Filter_Blok, our old friend from across the pond -- and “other” winner of the now-legendary Name Nico’s Top Ten Favorite Films contest, that gave us the wonderful, the sublime, the extraordinary Shrykespeare -- who never quite made it “back” to what was once referred to as the “new” Fantasy Moguls Forum, and now, it appears, never will. Miss ya, Blok, and I hope you’re doing all right, wherever you are.

…And, next-to-last but surely not least, the inimitable, the incorrigible, the oft-misunderstood and even-more-oft-imitated (especially by sonofjamescameron, nudge, nudge, wink, wink), but never, no, not EVER duplicated, tuan69, who I move at this time be nominated to a lifelong appointment as The Official Mascot of the Fantaverse. --Seconded?

...Ahem. SECONDED?

[...continued...]


Last edited by Nicodemus on Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:30 am; edited 1 time in total
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(Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell. [PART V]

Post by Nicodemus on Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:12 am

And so it is that I come to Shrykespeare, who I remain honored and humbled to call my great good friend, my once-protégé who has far, far exceeded my own dreams and ambitions for this place, and who is Fantaversally recognized as this thriving and irreplaceable community’s heart, soul and noblest self. My friend, it has been a pleasure to serve with you here, to see you grow from regular poster to frequent contributor, featured author, de facto program director and, finally, outright leader. "O Captain! My Captain!", it is to your capable hands that I commit this endeavour, for the Fantaverse, having stepped confidently out of the shadow of its putative “father”, is now, like you, fully grown and more than ready to strike out on its own, chart out its course, and set sail to discover its ultimate destiny.

It’s funny… We’re about the same age, but I’ve always felt somewhat an older brother to you, nurturing and guiding and encouraging you, supporting you and advising you and, very occasionally, even admonishing you (gently, I trust). Perhaps it’s been, in part, as a result of my frequent and total absences, from much of the real world as well as the Fantaverse, that has led to your increasing self-sufficiency, your emotional maturation and your intellectual independence. However, I frankly doubt it. As I told you at the outset, as you took your first tentative, halting steps into a larger world: You’re already a star. You just don’t know it yet, but I do, and, in time, you will. You suspected me of flattery back then, or, perhaps, merely inordinate kindness, if not outright wishful thinking, delusion, or outright madness (still a possibility, y'know)… But I knew the truth. And, now, so do you, and so do hundreds, perhaps thousands, of your faithful and devoted readers, many of whose names are published directly above these words. My great good friend, you have arrived. And, as I predicted one memorable Spring evening, ALL THE DOORS ARE NOW OPEN TO YOU.

It’s graduation day, kiddo. Here, I’m tossing you the keys. Now, go on… DRIVE. (And try not to put it at the bottom of a chasm, adolescent-Kirk-style, m'kay?) [Grin]

I don’t need to tell you, by the way, to do me proud. You already have, Shryke.

You already have.

It’s not just that this place wouldn’t have been the same without you guys; it wouldn’t have been ANYTHING. You ARE the Fantaverse, and always will be, no matter where it resides or even what it may be called. I thank you.

It has to be asked: Where do we go from here? I don’t know, exactly, but I, for one, have no worries. It’s clear the game will change, as it must, and as it should, but not all growth need be painful, and not all futures need be frightening, and not all trials need be avoided. The Fantaverse is in capable hands, and will be shepherded by a host of smart, thoughtful and responsible Moguls -- or whatever they may be called -- who will usher in a new era of movie gaming and will take this concept to new generations of giddy addicts, new heights of obsession and new arenas of competition. I hope I may contribute to this evolution, and certainly do intend to, but I’m not really needed, not really, not when there are so many veteran, committed, enthusiastic Fantaversians to rely upon. Maybe The Game Formerly Known As Fantasy Moguls will continue to exist only on message boards and via E-mail. Perhaps another Web site will rise, to eclipse even our beloved, palm-tree-and-diner-menu-decorated fantasymoguls.com. Who can say? But, rest assured: We will go on, and have fun, and, perhaps, even, you know, prosper. [Ducking Chien]

It is, bluntly put, simply far too kick-ass a ride to end.

And, now, my closing remarks: (and take another shot!)

If there’s one thing life has taught me in the last, very very challenging, 18 months, it’s this: Learn to recognize the good things in life, and hold on to them dearly… The things that fire your imagination, that fuel your ambitions, that lengthen the nights and brighten the days; the pleasurable activities that inhabit your dreams and the reassuring memories that impose themselves on your waking mind; the conversations that make you laugh, and the friends that make you grin; the interests that get you moving, the places that keep you nearby, and, no matter where life may take you, the people that keep you grounded.

This world is full of hardships, it’s true, and heartbreak, and even horrors. (Look to the citizens of Mumbai, the former Bombay, this past week, who know this perhaps better than anyone, in this particular place and time anyway.) And, sometimes, it’s a real struggle to stay youthful, to remain hopeful, to remember to be grateful. We are not promised success, nor health, nor happiness… And nor should we be, else our labors be a mere sideshow, our achievements merely stagecraft, and our lives mere roles... inconsequential, unvaluable, meaningless. It’s not supposed to be easy. If it were easy, we would value nothing, want nothing, fear nothing, aspire to nothing, mourn nothing. But it can be made easier. Places like this make it easier. Activities like this make it easier. People like you, all of you, make it easier.

To paraphrase Ernest Hemingway: The Fantaverse is a fine place, and worth fighting for. Unlike Detective William Somerset, I happen to agree with BOTH parts.

Ah, the memories. Shryke’s first -- and, in his view, grossly overlong [chuckle] -- Bard’s Eye View, which premiered on the very last day of March, 2007. The astonishing flop of Tarantriguez’s retro experiment GrindHouse. The ascension of another pair of our Forum compatriots, Chien and dranscht, to the ranks of featured columnists. Our very first Mogul, tuan, who unleashed a veritable Apocalypse of posts over the course of two extremely busy weeks to reach that elusive 1000-entry mark. The Top 10, then Top 20, then Top 100, Lists. The Worst Poster contest. The attack of the GNORFF!!s. The arguments, the digressions. My God, the digressions. The Mutual Admiration Society, the Department of Redundancy Department, the Executive Committee of the Fantaverse. Bob Bagginoton. The poetry, the prose, the polls, the puns. Nico-names. My God, sonofjamescameron. The wholly unacceptable scarcity of actual participating chicks, and the way otherwise calm and rational male Forumers fell on them like dingos on fetid baby kidneys. The Interminable, Comprehensive, All-Inclusive List of Every.Single.Hot.Chick.EVER. Captivity, the Film That Simply Would Not Be Released. The Night of the Living JPG Files. The Fanties, the Fantalympics. The Regulars and irregular regulars, the SuperLeagues, the Super Contest. Fantasy Bankrupts. God’s Very Own IMAX. Who among us can forget that heart-stopping day when we learned that Heath Ledger, who was already earning high praise from well-placed studio sources for his upcoming, superstar-making turn in The Dark Knight, had been the victim of Fate’s own, shocking, diabolically crafted, fatal practical joke? Where did we run to? Who did we seek out the company of? My God, the memories. Like the aging, itinerant wanderer from ”He Went to Paris” said, Some of it’s magic, and some of it’s tragic. Sing it, Jimmy... But we had a great time, all the way, didn’t we?

Here, at the end, it occurs to me that -- among many, many other things-- I’ve managed, once more, to hold the Fantasy Moguls Forum hostage to announce some terrible misfortune afflicting me or mine. (Take yet another shot.) I promise, though, this will be, without question, the LAST time it happens (here). (And yet ANOTHER shot!) [Chuckle]

Now, hand back the bottle, if you please. It’s last call.

[...concluded...]


Last edited by Nicodemus on Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:34 am; edited 1 time in total
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(Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell. [FINAL PART]

Post by Nicodemus on Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:14 am

To close, in the words of Toby Ziegler -- a character from my very favorite television program of all time: We had it good there for a while. And, you know, we might choose to be sad about that...but, then again, and in the words of one of my favorite authors of all time:

The road goes ever on and on,
Down from the door where it began…
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.


My friends, the road never ends, and each path is more, much more a beginning, than it ever could be an ending.

However, this is also an ending, of sorts, for yours truly: My retirement (and take ANOTHER shot!), or, at least, that of the ‘Nicodemuspersona, that has, for most of you, defined my residency and tenure here in the Fantaverse. I adopted ‘Nico’, your favorite varmint, vulgarity and pestilence vector, as I took the reins of ONE MONTH OUT, abandoning my initial “handle” and making a clean break from my previous incarnation on the first Fantasy Moguls Forum. However, as we depart these fair lands, the era of Nicodemus, like the generations of the Elves in Middle-Earth, must end, especially if the Fantaverse is to grow and adapt and transcend its early history. As I stated above, you no longer need me, and I can surely attest to the truth and meaning of the proverb that children only attain true adulthood in the wake of their parents’ demise.

It is time, then, for the Second Age of the Fantaverse to dawn.

So, now, I put down my enchanted quill, its feathers frayed and tattered, but its golden tip as bright and finely edged as that first day I held it in my aging, crooked claws. I wave my paw at the Orb of Seeing, watching as it clouds one final time, then dulls to mere transparency. I pinch out the candles, my keen eyes resting on their guttering flame; I take one last, longing, bittersweet glance around the dusty, cobwebbed lair, allow myself a toothy smile, and inhale deeply that musty, mossy, magical scent of home. I pull my cloak tighter about me, reach out for my trusted staff, and emerge from the rat hole, one final time. The night is damp, and there’s a chill in the air. The cobbled streets are empty, the lamps flickering, clouds smothering Creation with their heavy, heedless caress. Smoke belches lazily from chimneys, birds rustle restlessly in the trees. But there is no time for sadness, no chance for me to weep; for I, too, have miles go before I sleep.


The road goes, ever, on, and on. And whither then?

I cannot say.



Come along, then, my dear Mrs. Frisby. Do not be afraid, my child.

Adventure awaits.



Hail, my friends, and farewell.



I remain…



Nico.


POSTSCRIPT: THE BIG ONE - NICO'S 1001 FAVORITE FILMS OF ALL TIME

...WILL BE POSTED BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR, AT THE ALTERNAFANTAVERSE (http://thefantaverse.forumotion.net). HOWEVER, THE 'AUTHOR' WILL NOT BE 'NICO'! HERE, THEN, ARE SOME CLUES TO MY NEXT FANTAVERSIAN 'IDENTITY', WHICH WILL BE MAKING ITS DEBUT THERE ON CHRISTMAS EVE, ALONG WITH THE PROMISED LIST OF NICO'S 1001 FAVORITE FILMS...






Hang dai, fuckin' Wu. Hang dai.


WILL STARSHIP TROOPERS CONTINUE TO EXIST IN NICO'S TOP 10? HAVE THERE BEEN ANY CHANGES TO THE LIST IN THE LAST TWO YEARS? HOW MANY M. NIGHT SHYAMALAMARAMADINGDONG TITLES WILL HE FAVOR? WHAT PROPORTION OF FILMS RELEASED BEFORE 1970 WILL THERE BE? HOW MANY STAR TREK FILMS? WHICH STAR WARS FILMS? WILL THERE BE ANY COMEDIES? ANY WESTERNS? ANY MUSICALS? ANY DOCUMENTARIES? ANY ANIME? HOW MANY FILMS DIRECTED BY AND / OR STARRING KEVIN COSTNER WILL BE INCLUDED? HOW MANY WAR / NAVY / SUBMARINE FILMS? HOW MANY WILL HAVE STARRED NICHOLAS CAGE, TEA LEONI, OR 'ROWDY' RODDY PIPER? WHAT PERCENTAGE OF TITLES WILL NO ONE, WITH THE POSSIBLE EXCEPTION OF CHIEN, HAVE EVER HEARD OF BEFORE? WILL ANYONE GIVE A DAMN?

LOOK FOR THE ANSWERS THIS CHRISTMAS EVE! IN THE MEANTIME, HERE'S A CLUE TO THE IDENTITY OF #1001 ON THE LIST...



'Chasing AMEE'

[size=16=]...SEE YA SOON![/size]


[fin]


Last edited by Nicodemus on Sat Dec 06, 2008 5:16 am; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Because I'm a goober.)
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by Shrykespeare on Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:22 am

Welcome, Nico. I am so NOT reading that column again.... ten times was enough, and I'm out of dry hankies.

I have some news:

Though Cody (Mister F) will be back as a player, he has graciously turned down our offer to continue as our "editor". That duty will now fall to our illustrious moderators (God help us...).

I e-mailed Steve Mason to see if those thrice-weekly updates that graced the pages of FM would be possible to be put up here. If he's as stand-up a guy as Nico, erm, NTBDL (name to be determined later), says, I should get a response eventually. WE NEED OUR FIX!!!

As for a new "column", I'll start throwing something together next week. Indie has also expressed interest, and I'm sure if we do something, Mr. I will capitulate to complete the triumvirate once more. I'll call it "Speare's Tips" (eh? eh?), and submit it to Barca or Donte when I have it done.

Welcome to the new 'hood, dude! We saved a spot in the boiler room just for you!
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by geezer9687 on Sat Dec 06, 2008 6:30 am

Number 1001 is Red Planet. I hated that movie.
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by JackO on Sat Dec 06, 2008 9:23 am

That was a helluva column. I'm glad I found time to read it.
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by Donte77 on Mon Dec 08, 2008 11:34 pm

It is not right that the Nico-name is going away. I sure hope the new incarnation has a catchy title.

And I obviously voted for the long winded choice on the poll. Laughing

I sure can try to edit them Shryke. It may take me a few tries to get the hang of it but I am always up to learning a new writing craft.
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by silversurfer19 on Tue Dec 09, 2008 1:05 am

Shrykespeare wrote:I e-mailed Steve Mason to see if those thrice-weekly updates that graced the pages of FM would be possible to be put up here. If he's as stand-up a guy as Nico, erm, NTBDL (name to be determined later), says, I should get a response eventually. WE NEED OUR FIX!!!

Steve Mason has just updated his Facebook profile and has announced that he will be providing his column to Andrew Breitbart's 'Big Hollywood'. So I guess if he doesn't post anything personally on here, we can always just create a link to that site when it is up and running.

_________________
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F@$&in’ out-of-control verbosity, pontificatory pratings, vermin infestations and every other damn thing. This MUST be the Fantaverse...

Post by Swedgin! on Tue Dec 16, 2008 5:56 am

Knowin' I'm announcin' my presence a tad earlier than expected, here's hopin' the hoopleheads don't pitch a tantrum an' run me out of town on a rail, or tar an' feather me, or the like.

Barring any sudden and unanticipated removal at the hands of The Powers-That-Be, allow me to present myself. Name's Swedgin, an' I'll be hopin' to make all your acquaintances in the weeks and months to come. I'm takin' over for that changeable, psychotic f@$&in’ no-account rodent, now that he's off communing with the spirits or whatnot. You'll find me honest and gentle-natured as a babe, unless, of course, you happen to corner me and offer up the prospect of an ass-f@$&in’... in which event, and putting me off my feed, you're as likely as not to be introduced to the business end of a knife, and Gabriel's trump will undoubtedly produce you from the ass end of a pig. Barring that, it's well come and well met, and feel free to address me in conversation at whatever time the fancy may strike you.

I'll be makin' more remarks as circumstances allow and opportunity permits. Meanwhile, carry on. The bar is open, and the girls are just as accomodatin'. Just don't let me catch you playin' that f@$&in’ piano!
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by silversurfer19 on Tue Dec 16, 2008 2:14 pm

It must be great not having to type your signature over and over again, eh ol pal!! Nice to meet your new acquaintance. Very Happy

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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by Donte77 on Tue Dec 16, 2008 11:49 pm

Hee Hee. I have watched exactly one episode of Deadwood while at a rally last year. Me and the guy I was rooming with made it a drinking game. Take a drink of beer at every "Fuck" and two drinks at every "Cunt" spoken. We made it 38 minutes into the show and were both plastered...
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by becs on Wed Dec 17, 2008 2:27 am

Well, It took all day to read this frigging post, so you have yet again succeeded at monopolizing our attention Nicoswedgin (I have no clue how to pronounce your new name, which is a significant downfall). I've typed too many farewells and welcome backs for you to utter even one more, so I'll leave it at glad to see you here! I hope you return us to our previous state of perpetual digression which seems fairly rare these days.
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by Chienfantome on Wed Dec 17, 2008 3:08 am

I had already rea, and commented, on your magnificent final post on the old FM board, Nico, i hope you had read my answer there.

And weclome to that Swedgin! new dude, I'm sure he'll be cool... Wink
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by Swedgin! on Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:57 pm

Responding...


Herald (Nico-names bein' the fashion) you're all right. Come on over any time an' conversate, as the mood strikes you. You're right, the new signature is a welcome improvement.

You must have the constitution of an ox, or a stone golem, or perhaps even ManBearPig ("Excelsior!"), Infernal, to have remained upright an' cogent through 38 minutes of that fine, unfettered pageant of profane utterances and insultery. Though, bein' as we aspiring scholars and ne'er-do-wells frequently find ourselves in the company of our estrogen-laden betters, you may be assured I'll not be employing "c@nt" to make my thoughts known.

I am, hopefully, going to be receiving that brand-new, 19-disc "Complete Series" edition of Deadwood on DVD this Christmas, so I expect I'll be polishin' up my references, perfecting cadences an' adding to my already-enviable collection of quotes and allusions and whatnot before long... be warned. (Be f@$&ed!)

LOVE the Ignatius J. Reilly reference, by the way. My Big Chief tablet quakes, the sensible flaps of my trusty hunting cap trill, my valve fairly percolates; Fortuna, that fickle, fastidious, feckless minx, smiles upon me, my turn on the wheel having completed another heedless revolution. I believe I shall celebrate by adjusting my position so as to more efficiently facilitate the necessary purging of my essential atmosphere, and perhaps by masticating one or more Paradise Hot Dogs.

becs, may I say it's a real pleasure to read your words again. You honor me, and I reiterate my solemn pledge never to employ the word, "c@nt", here, unlike other low-life heathen types. (You know who you are.) [Evil grin] 'Swedgin!', by the way, is properly enunciated thusly: SWEDGE- (like, 'sledge') IN!, with emphasis on the first syllable, but really pretty much explosive from first to last, a near-articulate, spittle-flecked, frothy inarticulation further hampered by the fact that its initial utterance was undertaken by a lunatic celestial (read: Oriental) attempting to form his fat f@$&ing noodle-packed cheeks 'round the name, 'Swearengen'.

To wit, please observe:


Mr. Wu, at his Shatneresque ("KHAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!") ("SWEDGINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!")best

Anyways, glad you perused my own (or, not to get all technical, Nico's) near-articulate, spittle-flecked, frothy inarticulations, and sorry 'bout it takin' up an eternity. I'm pleased to see you as well, and am in total and complete agreement: There's been far, far too many hails, farewells, eulogies, welcome backs, wish-you-were-heres, don't-let-the-door-hit-yous, why-the-Hell-can't-the-loopy-f@$&er-stay-gones and every other puerile, miserable f@$&in’ pronouncement under the sun, to add even one more to what has become a routinely, if sporadically, ridiculous parade of Nico-narcissism.

Havin' read your contribution in full, by the way, and consulting at length with my particular friend Shrykespeare, I would like to suggest the formation of the Church of Perpetual Digression, worshipping the Hatin' in all us mere mortals. (All hail Emu!) Just take our free personality test: Once it's proven that you, in fact, have no personality, the first course on the road to spiritual enlightenment, mental incapacity and corporeal penury will cost you only $240!

Chien, sir, I did, in fact, read your reply at the previous location. I have no words (for once!) to do it justice. My thanks. (It figures, of course, you missin' all the exquisitely crafted Trek references.) And, yes, the French are most assuredly the best diplomats... Havin' a foreign policy rooted in a doctrine of pre-emptive surrender'll do wonders for one's international stature. [Evil grin] How France has managed all these centuries with the Tricolore is frankly f@$&in’ baffling... That's two colors too many, mon ami. [Eviller grin]

(Requisite political lampoonery and snidely satisfying snarkasm aside, I, too, look forward to our continued dialogue here at the AlternaFantaverse. Please, don't lob your shoes at me, or, at least, not until you've sprayed 'em with Fast-Actin' Tinactin.)


Ah... Home, sweet home, bloodstains an' all.


Excelsior!


Last edited by Swedgin! on Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:23 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by Shrykespeare on Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:22 pm

Damn, I've missed this. Anyone else missed this?

Looks like those of us known as the Knights Who No Longer Say Ni!(co) are in for a rough but hysterical ride. Let's just hope Chien doesn't send Gong Li over to his house to parse out an ass-whuppin' of Biblical proportions.

And, now that I think about it, I prefer "Our Lady of Perpetual Digression". The statue outside is one of Sarah Palin in a wimple. (Even eviller grin, done with a curled pinky finger thusly touching upper lip.)

And Donte, I think you'd better text the guy downstairs, as I think we may all be heading down there in short order.

affraid lol!
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by Swedgin! on Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:51 pm

Damn, I've missed this. Anyone else missed this?
No.

Let's just hope Chien doesn't send Gong Li over to his house to parse out an ass-whuppin' of Biblical proportions.
You trot out your celestial, I'll stick with mine. Let God sort 'em out.

And, now that I think about it, I prefer "Our Lady of Perpetual Digression". The statue outside is one of Sarah Palin in a wimple.
I think I speak for everyone here when I ask: What the f@$& is a wimple?


Sarah Palin action figure. Hijab, stilettos and teak paddle engraved with, "Drill me here! Drill me now!" sold seperately. New from Mattel!

...Donte, I think you'd better text the guy downstairs, as I think we may all be heading down there in short order.


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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by Shrykespeare on Wed Dec 17, 2008 11:54 pm

Swedgin! wrote:I think I speak for everyone here when I ask: What the f@$& is a wimple?

You really don't know? It's those ghastly-looking things that nuns used to wear on their heads. Like "The Flying Nun" used to wear way back when.
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by becs on Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:16 am

I'm with you Shryke, it certainly feels like home again, keeps me checking for updates at the least, and inspires my word count.
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by Swedgin! on Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:11 am

Awww... You guys are makin' me blush. Stop that.


Target acquired, Liberty. Weapons hot. Fox one!

ETA: I really, really didn't know. Tell the truth, I thought a 'whimple' was a Sniglet, defined, perhaps, as the sound made by an exploding zit: a cross between a whimper and a pimple.

Matter of fact, I like my explanation better.
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by Swedgin! on Fri Oct 23, 2009 8:31 am

Anyone remember this?

One of you lads or lassies needs to do the same for TFR, methinks.
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by NSpan on Sat Oct 24, 2009 11:31 am

(once again)

Too long. Didn't read.

Wink

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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

Post by Swedgin! on Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:03 am

LOL... Perfect sentiment, without the messy sentimentality, Spannaus... as always.

Loved spending time w/ you and Kate (and Aly and Ash, and... hmmm... someone else... name escapes me) [grin] in Austin, btw... y'all are terrific hosts, I had a really lovely time. Gotta do that again... soon!


Aly, Nico and Spannaus (l.-r.) at the First Nearly Annual Fantasy Moguls Reunion!
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Re: (Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

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