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Fantaverse Society of Film Hecklers Awards 2008

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Post by NSpan Sun Jan 25, 2009 11:36 am

Buscemi, hope you don't mind that i went ahead and started a thread for this--just to get some discussion going.. to reiterate, here are the categories:

Worst Picture
Worst Actor
Worst Actress
Worst Supporting Actor
Worst Supporting Actress
Worst Director
Worst Screenplay
Worst Screen Teaming
Worst Film To Make Over $100 Million At The US Box Office
Worst Sequel or Remake
Worst Adaptation





i'm piecing together my nominees now:

TENTATIVE

Worst Picture
Funny Games
Hancock
Indiana Jones and the Whatever
Speed Racer
Wanted

Worst Actor
Ben Stiller (Tropic Thunder)
Keanu Reeves (The Day the Earth Stood Still)
Larry Bishop (Hell Ride)
Matt Lanter (Star Wars: The Clone Wars)
Michael Cera (Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist)

Worst Actress
Ashley Eckstein (Star Wars: The Clone Wars)
Jess Weixler (Teeth)
Kat Dennings (Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist)
Kristen Stewart (Twilight)
Sarah Jessica Parker (Sex and the City: The Movie)

Worst Supporting Actor
Jeffrey Donovan (Changeling)
John Malkovich (Burn After Reading)
John Malkovich (Changeling)
Matthew Lillard (In the Name of the King: Another Videogame Movie)
Shia LeBouf (Indiana Jones and the Whatever)

Worst Supporting Actress
Angelina Jolie (Wanted)
Ari Graynor (Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist)
Cate Blanchett (Indiana Jones and the Whatever)
Nikki Reed (Twilight)

Worst Director
Catherine Hardwicke (Twilight)
M. Night Shyamalan (The Happening)
Michael Haneke (Funny Games)
The Wachowski Brother & Sister (Speed Racer)
Uwe Boll (In the Name of the King: Another Videogame Movie)

Worst Screenplay
Funny Games
Hancock
Hell Ride
Indiana Jones and the Whatever
The Happening

Worst Screen Teaming
Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert)
Indiana Jones and Aliens OR Indiana Jones and the Refrigerator (Indiana Jones and the Whatever) TIE
Larry Bishop and Dialogue (Hell Ride)
Nick and Norah (Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist)
Shia LeBouf and Monkeys (Indiana Jones and the Whatever)

Worst Film To Make Over $100 Million At The US Box Office
Hancock
Indiana Jones and the Whatever
Sex and the City: The Movie
Twilight
Wanted

Worst Sequel or Remake
Funny Games
Indiana Jones and the Whatever
Saw V
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Worst Adaptation
In the Name of the King: Another Videogame Movie
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Speed Racer
Twilight
Wanted

TENTATIVE


Last edited by NSpan on Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:17 am; edited 5 times in total
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Post by numbersix_99 Sun Jan 25, 2009 3:54 pm

I think Indy 4 is going to feature strongly in all categories, including director (Sorry, Spielberg, you've made great movies but this was a stinkin turd).

darn, I kinda wish I watched The Crappening, so I could have ensured it would win every category.
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Post by BanksIsDaFuture Mon Jan 26, 2009 3:35 am

Wow, why all the hate for Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist?

I thought that was a fantastic movie.
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Post by Buscemi Mon Jan 26, 2009 4:23 am

Thank you for this, NSpan. I was needing some talk for this.
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Post by NSpan Mon Jan 26, 2009 5:08 am

BanksIsDaFuture wrote:Wow, why all the hate for Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist?

I thought that was a fantastic movie.
personally, i just found it incredibly offensive to all of my senses.. nothing against your taste in movies, of course (to each his own and all that)--but i thought it managed to be pretentious, bland, annoying and boring all at once.. i only ended up seeing it because the movie i wanted to watch had sold out, but i went into it hoping for a sort of alternative to Juno (which i also hated--in spite of a very likable performance by JK Simmons), but ended up with more of the same tired characters and disingenuous "indie" sensibilities.. it was the cinematic equivalent of the identity-crisis currently going on in the mind of every 15 year-old across the country--a process that is unappealing enough that i don't care to see it hashed out in a ninety minute movie complete with awful music and every line of inane dialogue being delivered as if it were the most witty thing to ever come out of a teenager's mouth.. on a sidenote, how many times can Michael Cera milk this same awkwardly "cute" blank-slate character that he's played in...well, every role he's ever done...?? and "Kat" Dennings needs to be slapped, plain and simple... that said, Nick and Norah were the most likable characters in the film.. which does not bode well for the rest of the cast

i feel like High Fidelity was a music-centric movie made by music-centric people who happened to take the time to write a story about it.. conversely, Nick and Norah felt forced and artificial, as if it had been created by people who have no genuine love of music nor the ambition to make an actual movie about it anyway

phew, sorry for the rant. In Nick and Norah's defense, the film did not contain the lines "Honest to blog?", "Wizard!", or "This is one doodle that can't be un-did, homeskillet." For which, i give it points
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Post by Buscemi Mon Jan 26, 2009 6:29 am

Juno = worst Academy Award-winning screenplay ever.
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Post by Buscemi Mon Jan 26, 2009 6:59 am

My Tenative Picks:

Worst Picture
An American Carol (Vivendi)
Disaster Movie (Lionsgate)
The Hottie and The Nottie (Regent)
Meet The Spartans (Fox)
Witless Protection (Lionsgate)

Worst Actor
Hayden Christensen (Jumper)
Kevin Farley (An American Carol)
Larry The Cable Guy (Witless Protection)
Keanu Reeves (The Day The Earth Stood Still)
Mark Wahlberg (The Happening, Max Payne)

Worst Actress
Camilla Belle (10,000 B.C.)
Cameron Diaz (What Happens In Vegas)
Heather Graham (Miss Conception)
Paris Hilton (The Hottie and The Nottie)
Eva Longoria Parker (Over Her Dead Body)

Worst Supporting Actor
Andrew Caldwell (College)
Samuel L. Jackson (The Spirit)
Costas Mandylor (Saw V)
Dash Mihok (Punisher: War Zone)
Jon Voight (An American Carol, Pride and Glory, Four Christmases)

Worst Supporting Actress
Rachel Bilson (Jumper)
Alexis Dziena (Fool's Gold)
Carmen Electra (Meet The Spartans, Disaster Movie)
Kim Kardashian (Disaster Movie)
Jenny McCarthy (Witless Protection)

Worst Director
Uwe Boll (In The Name Of The King, Postal)
Jason Friedberg/Aaron Seltzer (Meet The Spartans, Disaster Movie)
Raja Gosnell (Beverly Hills Chihuahua)
Tom Putnam (The Hottie and The Nottie)
David Zucker (An American Carol)

Worst Screenplay
An American Carol
Beverly Hills Chihuahua
The Hottie and The Nottie
Meet The Spartans/Disaster Movie
Witless Protection

Worst Screen Teaming
any two actors (Disaster Movie)
Paris Hilton/anybody (The Hottie and The Nottie)
any two actors (Meet The Spartans)
those dumb henchmen (The Spirit)
Larry The Cable Guy/anybody (Witless Protection)

Worst Film To Make Over $100 Million
Eagle Eye
Four Christmases
Hancock

Worst Sequel or Remake
Disaster Movie
Meet The Spartans
One Missed Call
Witless Protection (remake of every other Larry The Cable Guy movie)
The Women

Worst Adaptation
An American Carol
In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Max Payne
Punisher: War Zone
The Spirit


Last edited by Buscemi on Mon Jan 26, 2009 11:27 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by JackO Mon Jan 26, 2009 7:07 am

Worst Picture:

Funny Games
Indiana Jones 4
Speed Racer
Quantum of Solace
Smart People


Worst Actor

Owen Wilson - Drillbit Taylor
Shia Labouef - Eagle Eye
Hayden Christensen - JMPR
Simon Pegg- Run Fatboy Run
Emile Hirsh - Speed Racer

Worst Actress

Ellen Page- Smart People
Karen Allen - Indy 4
Rachel Bilson - JMPR
Olga Kurylenko - Quantum of Solace

Worst Supporting Actor

Shia Labouef - Indy 4
John Hurt - Indy 4
Samuel L Jackson - JMPR
Mathieu Amalric - Quantum of Solace
John Krasinski - Leatherheads


Worst Supporting Actress

Renee Zellwegger - Leatherheads
Sarah Jessica Parker - Smart People
Gemma Arterton - Quantum of Solace
Amy Poehler - Baby Mama
Cate Blanchett - Indy 4


Worst Director

Steven Speilberg - Indy 4
The Wachowski Brothers - Speed Racer
Steven Brill - Drillbit Taylor
George Clooney - Leatherheads
Michael Haneke - Funny Games

Worst Screenplay

Hamlet 2
Indy 4
Eagle Eye
Mummy 3
Speed Racer

Worst Screen Teaming

TBA


Worst Film To Make Over $100 Million At The US Box Office

Hancock
Indy 4
Eagle Eye
Quantum of Solace
Mummy 3

Worst Sequel or Remake

Madagascar 2
Quantum of Solace
Saw 5
Mummy 3
Funny Games

Worst Adaptation

TBA


Last edited by JackO on Mon Jan 26, 2009 7:14 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Buscemi Mon Jan 26, 2009 7:12 am

Transformers came out in 2007. And please classify what the directors directed in 2008.

And I have a feeling that creating this was a mistake. Half of you are naming films that weren't even bad.
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Post by NSpan Mon Jan 26, 2009 7:25 am

Buscemi wrote:Half of you are naming films that weren't even bad.
i'm generally trying to stick to movies that i've actually seen.. (therefore there will be no Hottie & Nottie, Disaster Movie, or Witless Protection noms on my list)
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Post by JackO Mon Jan 26, 2009 7:31 am

NSpan wrote:
Buscemi wrote:Half of you are naming films that weren't even bad.
i'm generally trying to stick to movies that i've actually seen.. (therefore there will be no Hottie & Nottie, Disaster Movie, or Witless Protection noms on my list)

I had that same problem too!
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Post by Buscemi Mon Jan 26, 2009 7:33 am

You're fine, NSpan. I'm just talking about the people who insist that Quantum Of Solace or Smart People were bad. And please, Funny Games wasn't as bad as what people are making it out to be. I bet some would be in agreement that it was better than most of 2008's Hollywood attempts at horror.

Also if possible, rent (but only cheaply) some of the really bad films to come out recently. They will shock you and we will have a stronger lineup as a result.

P.S.: I actually did see those bad films, but as rentals. I'm a glutton for punishment.
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Post by JackO Mon Jan 26, 2009 7:38 am

Aw! Did my nominations of your favorite films offend you? Poor baby!
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Post by Buscemi Mon Jan 26, 2009 7:47 am

This is the awards honoring the worst films, not the middle-of-the-road films.
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Post by geezer9687 Mon Jan 26, 2009 11:05 am

That's why I'm not submitting a list. I tried, and I couldn't do it. The worst of the worst films I saw this year were middle of the road. You will have an extensive list Buscemi, because you see more movies than probably anyone on here except for chien. Like you said, you subject yourself to the crap. Not too many people will take one for the team like that. So my nominations would mostly come from movies that I'd give a 5 or 6, not a 1 or 2. That's why I don't really think its worth the effort. And your last post confirms that it wouldn't have been.
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Post by undeadmonkey Mon Jan 26, 2009 11:43 am

I might still give it a try making a list, but I'm like geez, If yall say a movie is crap, and I think it looks like crap, im not going to waste my money and im especially not going to waste my time.
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Post by BanksIsDaFuture Mon Jan 26, 2009 11:54 am

Buscemi wrote: Half of you are naming films that weren't even bad.

Isn't that the point of opinions though? Nobody is going to agree across the board, that'd be boring. I don't want these to be the exact same nominees as the Razzies just because people are voting along with the majority on things they haven't seen. If they've only seen 20 movies in 2008, they still should be able to list the worst of those 20. While they may not be bad to anyone else, they're still the lowest to the person who's only seen those 20 movies.

For example, The Hottie & The Nottie was never released in more than 150 theaters nationwide, how many people really saw it? Yes, I'm guessing some people rented it, but the week it came out, it wasn't even in the Top 50 rentals. So not a lot of people has seen it, yet it appears on almost every Worst Movie list all over the internet.

Most of this isn't even directed at you, Buscemi, I just think you can't really tell someone that a movie they think is bad isn't. It's all a matter of opinion.
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Post by Buscemi Mon Jan 26, 2009 11:57 am

I understand but I don't want to sanction a Worst Of... series with titles like Quantum Of Solace and Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull. A large majority of people liked those movies.
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Post by Buscemi Mon Jan 26, 2009 12:02 pm

And since I know that everyone's going to put middle-of-the-road movies on their lists instead of truly bad movies, I will suspend the awards. Instead, you will be seeing a full worst of the year list from me on the week of the best of awards.

And I think you're going to fuck that one up too.
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Post by NSpan Mon Jan 26, 2009 12:15 pm

Buscemi wrote:I will suspend the awards
aw
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Post by Buscemi Mon Jan 26, 2009 12:27 pm

I will not put my name on something that is sub-standard and incredibly mainstream. Also, I will say that Funny Games was the year's worst film when there was much worse.

But there will be one compromise: rent a 2008 theatrical release that was worse than Funny Games. It doesn't have to be any of the five shitfests I put on my list but please, for love of God, don't be populist.

Suggested Bad Movie Of 2008 To Rent:

Miss Conception

Reasons Why It Sucks: the farfetched plotline and for Heather Graham's sleepwalking and horrible Northern Irish accent.
Reasons To Watch: the agonizing pain of watching Heather Graham trying to act in anything in this decade and to make fun of it
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Post by BanksIsDaFuture Mon Jan 26, 2009 1:53 pm

Last time I checked, this was all for fun. This isn't gonna be judged by Spielberg or anything. I didn't mean to shut everything down or anything.

Why did you start this if you were just gonna judge people's nominations, though? I mean, you can have your personal opinions on other people's opinions but if that's going to affect the way you run this awards thing, then maybe it's better if you didn't do it.

And if that's the case, I soon will be starting a Worst of... award show complete with full fireworks and laser lightshow. tongue
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Post by Buscemi Mon Jan 26, 2009 2:18 pm

I was expecting that other people would have seen stuff that was crap but instead you're giving me movies that aren't even bad.

If you still want to do this, count me out.

However, I will be doing my own list because I seem to be the only person with a degree in Badmovieology (handed to me from Crow T. Robot).
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Post by johnErle Mon Jan 26, 2009 2:39 pm

I saw more truly awful films this year than truly great ones, thanks in large part to friends who rent some dreadful shite, so whipping up this list is much easier than the best of list.

Worst Picture

The Happening
Death Race
Bangkok Dangerous
Harold And Humar Escape From Gitmo
Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day

Worst Director
M. Night Shamylamadingdong (The Crappening)
plus the directors of the assorted crap mentioned above

Worst Actor

Mark Wahlberg (The Crapenning)
Jason Statham (Death Race)
Nicholas Cage (Bangkok Dangerous)
John C. Rielly (Step Brothers)
Harold and/or Kumar

Worst Actress
Zooey Deschannel (The Crappening)
- although I don't blame her or Wahlberg. I blame the director since every actor sucked in this movie

Worst Supporting Actor
John Leguizamo (The Crappening)
Ian McShane (Death Race)

Worst Supporting Actress
Joan Allen (Death Race)
- what was she thinking?
Amy Adams (Miss Pettigrew)
- an overdose of adorable

Worst Sceeenplay

The Crappening
Death Race
Bangkok Ridiculous
Harold & Kumar
Righteous Kill

Worst Sequel or Remake
Death Race
Harold & Fubar
The X-Files: I Want To Forget I Ever Saw This Movie

Worst Film Over 100 Million

Step Brothers

Worst Screen Pairing
Nic Cage & his wigmaker
Scarlett Johansson's cellulite & bike shorts (Vicky Christina Barcelona)
Harold & Kumar
Mark Wahlberg & Zooey Deschanel
M. Night Shamylan & this decade

I really don't care if anyone thinks these movies are too mainstream, or too middle-of-the-road, or whatever. Life's too short to waste on bad movies, so I don't deliberately seek out crap, and certainly won't rent The Hottie And The Nottie just so I can fill out this list to someone else's satisfaction.

And anyone can tabulate the results of this voting if they feel like it, so I don't how anyone could "supsend" this award. I think some people are taking this waaaaay too seriously.
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Post by Buscemi Mon Jan 26, 2009 2:47 pm

I'm guessing you didn't see Eagle Eye with Julianne Moore's voice. Now that's a "What Were They Thinking?" moment.

I was being casual just then. John has a decent list not FILLED WITH THE ONLY EIGHT TO TEN MOVIES THAT THEY SAW.
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