(Republished from www.fantasymoguls.com) NICO'S FINAL POST: A Fantasy Moguls Retrospective, Remembrance, Requiem, and Farewell.

I had already rea, and commented, on your magnificent final post on the old FM board, Nico, i hope you had read my answer there.

And weclome to that Swedgin! new dude, I'm sure he'll be cool...

Responding...


Herald (Nico-names bein' the fashion) you're all right. Come on over any time an' conversate, as the mood strikes you. You're right, the new signature is a welcome improvement.

You must have the constitution of an ox, or a stone golem, or perhaps even ManBearPig ("Excelsior!"), Infernal, to have remained upright an' cogent through 38 minutes of that fine, unfettered pageant of profane utterances and insultery. Though, bein' as we aspiring scholars and ne'er-do-wells frequently find ourselves in the company of our estrogen-laden betters, you may be assured I'll not be employing "c@nt" to make my thoughts known.

I am, hopefully, going to be receiving that brand-new, 19-disc "Complete Series" edition of Deadwood on DVD this Christmas, so I expect I'll be polishin' up my references, perfecting cadences an' adding to my already-enviable collection of quotes and allusions and whatnot before long... be warned. (Be f@$&ed!)

LOVE the Ignatius J. Reilly reference, by the way. My Big Chief tablet quakes, the sensible flaps of my trusty hunting cap trill, my valve fairly percolates; Fortuna, that fickle, fastidious, feckless minx, smiles upon me, my turn on the wheel having completed another heedless revolution. I believe I shall celebrate by adjusting my position so as to more efficiently facilitate the necessary purging of my essential atmosphere, and perhaps by masticating one or more Paradise Hot Dogs.

becs, may I say it's a real pleasure to read your words again. You honor me, and I reiterate my solemn pledge never to employ the word, "c@nt", here, unlike other low-life heathen types. (You know who you are.) [Evil grin] 'Swedgin!', by the way, is properly enunciated thusly: SWEDGE- (like, 'sledge') IN!, with emphasis on the first syllable, but really pretty much explosive from first to last, a near-articulate, spittle-flecked, frothy inarticulation further hampered by the fact that its initial utterance was undertaken by a lunatic celestial (read: Oriental) attempting to form his fat f@$&ing noodle-packed cheeks 'round the name, 'Swearengen'.

To wit, please observe:


Mr. Wu, at his Shatneresque ("KHAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!") ("SWEDGINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!")best

Anyways, glad you perused my own (or, not to get all technical, Nico's) near-articulate, spittle-flecked, frothy inarticulations, and sorry 'bout it takin' up an eternity. I'm pleased to see you as well, and am in total and complete agreement: There's been far, far too many hails, farewells, eulogies, welcome backs, wish-you-were-heres, don't-let-the-door-hit-yous, why-the-Hell-can't-the-loopy-f@$&er-stay-gones and every other puerile, miserable f@$&in’ pronouncement under the sun, to add even one more to what has become a routinely, if sporadically, ridiculous parade of Nico-narcissism.

Havin' read your contribution in full, by the way, and consulting at length with my particular friend Shrykespeare, I would like to suggest the formation of the Church of Perpetual Digression, worshipping the Hatin' in all us mere mortals. (All hail Emu!) Just take our free personality test: Once it's proven that you, in fact, have no personality, the first course on the road to spiritual enlightenment, mental incapacity and corporeal penury will cost you only $240!

Chien, sir, I did, in fact, read your reply at the previous location. I have no words (for once!) to do it justice. My thanks. (It figures, of course, you missin' all the exquisitely crafted Trek references.) And, yes, the French are most assuredly the best diplomats... Havin' a foreign policy rooted in a doctrine of pre-emptive surrender'll do wonders for one's international stature. [Evil grin] How France has managed all these centuries with the Tricolore is frankly f@$&in’ baffling... That's two colors too many, mon ami. [Eviller grin]

(Requisite political lampoonery and snidely satisfying snarkasm aside, I, too, look forward to our continued dialogue here at the AlternaFantaverse. Please, don't lob your shoes at me, or, at least, not until you've sprayed 'em with Fast-Actin' Tinactin.)


Ah... Home, sweet home, bloodstains an' all.


Excelsior!

Damn, I've missed this. Anyone else missed this?

Looks like those of us known as the Knights Who No Longer Say Ni!(co) are in for a rough but hysterical ride. Let's just hope Chien doesn't send Gong Li over to his house to parse out an ass-whuppin' of Biblical proportions.

And, now that I think about it, I prefer "Our Lady of Perpetual Digression". The statue outside is one of Sarah Palin in a wimple. (Even eviller grin, done with a curled pinky finger thusly touching upper lip.)

And Donte, I think you'd better text the guy downstairs, as I think we may all be heading down there in short order.

Damn, I've missed this. Anyone else missed this?

No.

Let's just hope Chien doesn't send Gong Li over to his house to parse out an ass-whuppin' of Biblical proportions.

You trot out your celestial, I'll stick with mine. Let God sort 'em out.

And, now that I think about it, I prefer "Our Lady of Perpetual Digression". The statue outside is one of Sarah Palin in a wimple.

I think I speak for everyone here when I ask: What the f@$& is a wimple?


Sarah Palin action figure. Hijab, stilettos and teak paddle engraved with, "Drill me here! Drill me now!" sold seperately. New from Mattel!

...Donte, I think you'd better text the guy downstairs, as I think we may all be heading down there in short order.

Welcome to Hell. Population: 2. You, and Carrot Top.

Swedgin! wrote:I think I speak for everyone here when I ask: What the f@$& is a wimple?

You really don't know? It's those ghastly-looking things that nuns used to wear on their heads. Like "The Flying Nun" used to wear way back when.

I'm with you Shryke, it certainly feels like home again, keeps me checking for updates at the least, and inspires my word count.

Awww... You guys are makin' me blush. Stop that.


Target acquired, Liberty. Weapons hot. Fox one!

ETA: I really, really didn't know. Tell the truth, I thought a 'whimple' was a Sniglet, defined, perhaps, as the sound made by an exploding zit: a cross between a whimper and a pimple.

Matter of fact, I like my explanation better.

Anyone remember this?

One of you lads or lassies needs to do the same for TFR, methinks.

(once again)

Too long. Didn't read.

LOL... Perfect sentiment, without the messy sentimentality, Spannaus... as always.

Loved spending time w/ you and Kate (and Aly and Ash, and... hmmm... someone else... name escapes me) [grin] in Austin, btw... y'all are terrific hosts, I had a really lovely time. Gotta do that again... soon!


Aly, Nico and Spannaus (l.-r.) at the First Nearly Annual Fantasy Moguls Reunion!

Swedgin! wrote:LOL... Perfect sentiment, without the messy sentimentality, Spannaus... as always.

Loved spending time w/ you and Kate (and Aly and Ash, and... hmmm... someone else... name escapes me) [grin] in Austin, btw... y'all are terrific hosts, I had a really lovely time. Gotta do that again... soon!

Indeed, another adventure is due soon.

Anyway, another great night... Z Tejas was delicious--we got the requisite queso, chips, salsa, tostada & guacamole shrimp, catfish beignets, tuna, fancy-ass macaroni, salmon and veggies, and some stiff margaritas / whiskeys... moseyed on over to Drafthouse Ritz, caught MASTER PANCAKE riffin' on Nightmare on Elm Street... friggin hi-larious... caught some improv up north... ended it with some major debauchery back at my place... (yikes!)

(edited for drunken rambling)

[Grin] AWEsome. (Especially since you guys experienced some, erm, "paranormal activity", yourselves.) [Chuckle]

You guys are making me hungry, dammit. Time to grab some coffee and greek yogurt (I'm convinced, btw, that "greek yogurt" is merely another term for "goat spunk") from the local Starbucks before I open the store. No church today for yours truly, I needed the extra sleep.